Boyfriend of the Day

Ryan Daharsh / MAJOR

After 2 weeks of staring at Eastern-European waifs walk down the runways of Paris & Milan, I feel it's time to appreciate a true blue, down home,  All-American piece of beefcake. 

Oh Ryan... You are the frat boy of my wettest dreams. 

Now get over here and let the hazing begin.

Just Akimbo

Get ready for the fabulously flawed -- 

Britain's Missing Top Model.

Best of Milan!

Well the men’s shows in Milan are wrapping up in a lil bit and already some slouchy trends are coalescing dans le monde chic thanks to the shared Italian consciousness; next Spring expect ALT in Armani pajamas and Gucci floral shoes before changing into his Prada sweetheart blouse and Bottega bell trousers for evening. Think a bit trim and narrow but relaxed, all with a smattering hint of sky blue, of course.




The real winner this week was Prada, who once again reinterpreted “masculinity” (does that word even have any meaning anymore) with this bondage theme she’s been into for a couple seasons. Artificial materials (a refreshing Prada staple when the color is right), common raw fabrics tied and pulled (remember those tie-died wool trousers?), and high socks with little accessory showed some raw new shapes appropriate for our "moderno" tech age. Love it Miuccia; wrap me up with some nylon straps, make me lose 30 pounds, but let me take this coat – by far the best piece of the week – to go!

Tyra Mail : America's Next Top Shoe Model

I knew when we gave you that buzz cut that your head would be the perfect canvas on which to model shoes.

Right again...

Work it out girl!!

Put Her in Italian Vogue!

xoxo

Tyra

Boyfriend of the Day

Courtney @ FUSION

One of the 3 black guys in Calvin...

And also he's perfection.

Tiiu @ Marilyn

New agency. New hair.

Still 6 feet tall...

Where Have All the Asians Gone?

Lee, Han, & Daul. Flawless.

xoxo

Paula Cole

Flesh from the Oven: Etro

Why hello GDILF...

Flesh from the Oven: Emporio Armani

Flesh from the Oven: DSquared

Flesh from the Oven: Dolce / D&G

Fat? Preggers? I can only hope it's the latter. And can only hope the baby's daddy is Tyra.

Flesh from the Oven: Cavalli

Seriously...

So, I ditch you for a far superior and much hotter former supermodel. And you resort to this bullshit. A dumpy, shapeless, robin-egg blue frock with mismatched tights and fucking olive suede slouchy boots.

Trying to be a fall...In the summer no less!

With mother-fucking Viktor & Rolf in attendance.

Have I taught you nothing!

Oh, and btw, the camera SO does NOT love you.

xoxo

Miss Banks

Stomp!

SHOES!!!!!

Dearest Gucci,

Thanks for feeding my unhealthy obsession with over-the-top, gaudy, and fabulous footwear. No one does it better than you.

Oh, and Ms. Ross, check out the handbags ASAP. You'll cream.

xoxo

Ms. Streisand

Diva of the Day

After spending the entire weekend indoors masturbating to the new Armani underwear ad featuring David Beckham, who should I run into but the woman who actually gets to fuck the guy in the ad? Vicky Becks looked quite taut at the Melrose Trading Post Flea Market in Los Angeles on Sunday. Unfortunately, her hottie husband still remains to be seen...at least, not in the flesh anyway.

xoxo,

Linda

Fucked by 'JIZZ SPUNKEL'

Meet 20 year-old Tom. He is the first member of the new blog series entitled: "Fucked by 'Jizz Spunkel," a weekly recap of our favorite hag's weekly conquests.

Tom is a rising sophomore at an undisclosed college somewhere in the Northeast. Daddy owns a large concert/club venue downtown. He enjoys fish.

Gawk and enjoy.

Plenty more to come... literally.

xoxo,

Gossip Gay

GOLD FUCKING LATEX

xoxo

Miuccia

Boyfriend of the Day

Kerry Degman / MAJOR

I mean... There are just no words.

NONE.

Even I am silenced...

Diva of the Day

Grace Jones, eat your heart out!

xoxo,

Sessilee Lopez

Sasha What?

This is how it's done ladies...

See that leg pop?

Did you notice that brow arch?

Bewildered expression?

Now, arch that back and... POSE!

The bitch is back. Respect.

The Resurrection

Our Naomi who art in heaven (?),

Hallowed be thy mane,

thy queendom come,

thy will be done

in YSL as it is in heaven.

Give us this our daily pose.

And forgive us our hunches,

As we forgive those who hunch against us.

And lead us not into catalogues;

But deliver us to couture.

For thine is the queendom,

the power,

and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen

Bread n' Buttah Catalog

Shhhh! Don't tell anyone...

xx,
Every past, present and future high-fashion girl

Hunch Of The Day // Stringed Slump

list the reasons why i can stare at this all day

That bob.

That excessive rouging around the eyes/upper cheek area.

The eyes.

The slanted little smirk.

The gold chains. Two haphazardly placed strands.

The orange and blue combo.

The pleating.

The boobs.

The pose.

That bob. Again.

Oh, and the strong shoulder...

xoxo

Tommy

Hell hath frozen over...

Anna Wintour (sans glasses) smiles...twice. WTF?

xoxo,

Linda

Hunch Of The Day // Die Wig Wilt

Grace // Italian Vogue July 08

Oh hello world. How are you? Almost crapped yourself opening Italian Vogue this month? Don’t worry. You’re not the only one.

You see, before I became a famous TV host, producer, singer, actress, inspiration, deity, etc., I was an edgy fashion model who roamed the runways and couture catwalks and posed and hunched and arched my way through almost every edition of Vogue. Now I’m back smiling with my eyes all thanks to my friend Steven. Oh Steven, I feel like that little girl fresh out of Inglewood all over again! If only it was 15 years and 45 pounds ago then maybe I could be gracing these and other pages like Chanel Iman (pass on the whole Korean thing, being mixed Asian is SO Naomi Campbell what?).

Look at me. The graceful tilt of the head, slightly unexpected on that long stem of a neck. The soft honey heaven cloud lips pursed like so. The slight slouch of the shoulders. A turban. Charcoal eyes and my gentle, almost invisible brow. Cheekbones.

Now look again and learn. That’s a pose.

XX,
Tyra

Boyfriend of the Day

Cole / REQUEST

If for nothing else but that pose... Now that is how you model a bag. 

Take Note. 

Especially you Ms. Ross. You know who you are...

Lagerfeld is looking out for you

It's ugly, it's yellow, it doesn't go with anything, but it keeps me safe.

xoxo,

Uncle Karl

Hunch Of The Day // Cableknit Slouch

Poo

Kate Moss?

Did you poo all over your dress again?

Don't look at me like that. That sad puppy face does not work on me babe. I know it was you.

Now march back inside and wipe it off.

Bitch.

xoxo

Naomi

How do you spell stunning? N-I-C-O-L-E!

Can we talk about how amazing Nicole Kidman looks for a woman married to some no-name country singer? I love how, even at her most pregnant, she's probably thinner than 80% of the models in the ads that take up 90% of Vogue. I knew from the moment I saw Nikki K. stomping toward the camera in the preview for this "Out of Africa"-like epic (co-starring the fagulous Hugh Jackman) with a sharp cobalt blue suit and a jaunty hat that she would garner a nomination for this role. What nomination? That remains to be seen, not unlike her baby bump. I swear, this anorexic baby is going to come out of the womb weighing 1 1/2 lbs. and have an addiction to botox. I can't wait.

CariDee English Might Not Have Tried to Kill Herself...

...but her career sure is dead. In a Life & Style (you know the rag whose main selling point is that it's a dollar cheaper than Us Weekly--one word: class) "exclusive," the Top Model cycle 7 winner did not try to kill herself, in direct contradiction to so-called "tabloid reports." She only "mixed some anxiety pills with alcohol" and the combination left her feeling "tired and dehydrated" so she called for help. A. I'm pretty sure those supposed tabloid reports came from Life & Style, itself, bastion of social consciousness it is. B. Who of us hasn't tried that potent combo of xanax after knocking back a few mudslides, if only in a vain attempt to squelch the pain of knowing that you're the least popular Top Model winner in history, even behind that sloppy tranny Adrianne Curry who married the least appealing Brady? And C. Dehydration? Really? Before we dip into the old Lohan bag of tricks for career advice, Carrie, let's just take a quick look at where the girl's at right now, hmm? She's literally a pit stop away from Britneyville on the long road towards Sharon Stone-esque craziness/irrelevance. Sure, she's on the covers of more magazines than you, but, hell, so am I and no one even knows who I...oh wait. Sorry. Anyhoo, glad you're feeling better, hon! When you learn to walk down a runway without looking like a faggoty lumberjack, let us know, will you?

If the moo moo fits...

6/14/08

Lady Leon Talley was voted the second best dressed woman of the week by Vogue. Who came in first? Some skinny white bitch I ain't never heard of (Samantha Boardman Rosen)! Not gonna lie, this photo makes me want to let myself go and plunge fat ass first into the wonderful world of flowy DVF designs. Do I dare dabble when the label opens a new store on Melrose right next to Marc Jacobs at the end of the summer?

Boyfriend of the Day

Philip Huang - PUBLIC IMAGE

My Asian Persuasion

xoxo

Boyfriend of the Day

Matan - FUSION

Those puppy-dog eyes... I am literally melting

And he's Jewish...

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things...

The crowning achievement of my life as a casting director...

Boyfriend of the Day

Enrique Miron - MAJOR

1. Who doesn't love a Latina?

2. The ass

3. The eyes

4. The suggestive poses. Model or porn star?

5. The slightly too long face

6. The kind of busted chin

7. The ass...

Hunch Of The Day // Anja Rubik, German Vogue July 08

How best to compliment your new peroxide blond hair and faux spray-tan glow whilst donning your couture beach wear on your summer vacation?

Why not a subtle hunch and a slightly come-hither look!

Classic 1971

M. Saint Laurent, Pour Homme

Fox.

Diva...Personified

It's called being a star. Fragile, glistening, umpteenth comeback, giant flower in her hair. And who will always love you? Will always lift you up after yet another failed marriage? When your children hate/fear you, who will embrace you. Those smiling faces in the dark. I feel real good with you.

Marcelina Sowa

Catherine / British Vogue

Abbey // Chinese Vogue May '08

Catherine/ Vogue Nippon

Boyfriend of the Day

The first and the ultimate... 

SIMON NESSMAN FOREVER!!!!

Name That Slut

You can't hide behind that dyed, jet-black pixie cut. Or even your poorly chosen fake pseudonym.

Mama never forgets her babies.

xoxo

Tyra

Hunch Of The Day -- The Kloss Krouch

ABBEY LEE // ITALIAN VOGUE BY GREG KADEL

Here's our favorite new Australian teenager rolling around the sand with her latest biggest fan: Greg Kadel. Gap-toothed, pierced from here to high heaven, and lean and lanky like we like, this girl can pose and stomp with the best of them!

ALT + The Less Attractive Williams Sister (Which Isn't Really Saying Much)

It was, I know you must be sure, a fluke. There I was, perusing some vintage tie clips at this little place I found three months ago, quickly grew tired of and whimsically decided was worthwhile again, when who should stomp in, wearing that star jones (do note the small caps, dear) rand of shoe but Mr. Venus? Well, she strong-armed me, and you know how fragile I've been since the, uh, diet, and before I could flicked the wildebeest away with the back of my hand, I had agreed to cart the little tart with me. I tried my dearest, and rather valiantly I might add, to hide her beneath my CHANEL cape, though. Pesky creature can smell the flashbulbs from 300 paces.

La Wintour/Costume Institue Party of the Fucking Year

Imagine my suprise when my eco-friendly limo pulled up to the Met the other day, my slightly ungainly daughter swathed in roll-hiding tulle sitting beside me. Where was my chariot? Where was the escort? A tad bit of whiskey kept in my ram horn hip detail, I saw you were the last to arrive. And with that tennis playing beast in tow. Where's the loyalty.

Anja Rubik // Vogue Italy