Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Mouthed and Agape / Baby Gap
I was going to call it Bulimia Stick or 'Choke on It', but I thought it would be too far
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Boyfriend of the Day
Hottie Photographer, Douglas Friedman. Why does it always seem that photographers are often as hot if not more so than the subjects they're hotting? Also, the Holy Roman Empire. Neither Holy, Roman or an Empire. Discuss.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Icon of the Week: Arm Candy
Besides being impossibly thin, impossibly rich and impossibly chic with her impossibly large fake boobs, Vicki Beckham, née Adams, has the ultimate accessory.
And that's always in vogue, kids...and occasionally in W. Now, move, kittenish, arch, grab that nonexistent thigh! And David...you're just perfect. Keep doing that, whatever it is you're doing.
And...
Are words really neccessary for this? Well, perhaps one word: work.
And that's always in vogue, kids...and occasionally in W. Now, move, kittenish, arch, grab that nonexistent thigh! And David...you're just perfect. Keep doing that, whatever it is you're doing.
And...
Are words really neccessary for this? Well, perhaps one word: work.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
FYI-Akimbo
What's the difference between a 90s supermodel and a mannequin of today?
About one foot in height and fierce heels!
Penciling Skirts
Time is running out, dears. If you love fashion or pretty drawings or pretty drawings of fashion, you only have 10 days until The Line of Fashion exhibit closes at the Leslie Loman Gallery, curated by Robert W. Richards. The exhibit presents over 50 years of glorious fashion illustration by such artists as Kenneth Paul Block, Christian Berard, George Stavrinos and the late Joe Eula, whose Liza you see jitterbugging and Fosse-ing above. So teeter on over in those Manolos and get schooled in some actually important history.
Leslie/Lohman GalleryTue - Sat, 12 noon - 6pm
26 Wooster Street (btw Grand & Canal)
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Icon of the Week: Bony Soslightly
Channeling Audrey, though I doubt she eats breakfast, period -- let alone at Tiffany's.
Monday, October 20, 2008
R.I.P.
Dickie Blackwell
29 August 1922 - 19 October 2008
Now who will skewer the faux pas of the style-impaired? Armed and Akimbo could never fill Mr. Blackwell's shoes, but it would be our pleasure to take up his cunty mantle. After all, Sharon Stone isn't getting any less crazy.
Friday, October 17, 2008
In The News // Project Runway
Leanne's winning collection from the Project Runway show was pleasant and satisfying for the critical fashionista in a myriad of ways.
For Spring, Leanne stuck to a tealish blue and a sharp cream. The first and second looks were clever inverses and reinterpretations of each other; sweetheart necklines that looked pliable, super trendy above-the-knee skirts, and of course the wave effect that everyone has been doing.
In fact it was the use of scallop shapes and curves that made the collection feel modern; for a designer so green and new, everything felt calm and confident.
She almost went prom in a few places but overall the show was great. Where else this season have we seen strong geometric shapes and scallop capes?
Oops-There-Goes-My-Kids-All-Over-Your-Face Akimbo / Cowboy Take Me Away
The return of former Boyfriend of the Day - Ryan Schirra. Looking better than ever and already assuming the position...
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Boyfriend of the Day
Michael Lewis, 20-year old Israeli basketball player/model/actor/professional hottie...Mmm, the chosen people, indeed.
Oh hi...
Remember when everyone thought I was just a slutty airhead with a squeaky voice who'd do anything--and anyone--to get to the top? Well, look who's laughing now, bitches. This gal. Sure I may have sold my soul in return for this body, this career and these Brazilian ass/cheek implants, but it was nonetheless a worthwhile investment. Just look where my peers are: the Michaels, the Princes, the Whitneys, the Janets, even that cow Mimi. Victory. Suck it. Excuse me while I bask in the warm halogen glow of these flashbulbs and try not to think about my marriage falling apart and my kids inevitably hating me for using them as a prop and occasional publicity stunt. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.
Icon of the Week: All Dressed Up in Liu
I mean, really, though. If there was any justice in the world, Lucy Liu would have Cameron Diaz's career....and Cameron Diaz would be dead. Just look at this ensemble...sure it's probably from the ill-fated Lipstick Cashmere Mafia Jungle, but Liu pulls it off with her trademark style and cool. I just hope she got to keep the wardrobe. Also take into account that she's actually a talented actress and a grade-A fox, the other LL does it for me. Almost on a sexual level, but another dude would probably have to be there so I could get into it. You feel me, ladies? and by ladies, I clearly mean womanish men.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Icon of the Week: Quintessence of a Movie Star
Every generation of moviegoers has their quintessential male movie star, one who embodies class and sophistication, wit and intelligence, sex appeal with a sly sense of humor. The archetype, no doubt, is Cary Grant, who taught every man how to wear a tux and be a gentleman without taking themselves too seriously.
Redford was his dashing successor, always stylish, always dreamy; whether in a worn pair of jeans or dressed to undress in his best Gatsby. And really, isn’t that what style is all about: the ability to pull off any look with confidence and poise?
Gentleman George and bff, Mr. Jolie-Pitt have followed in Bob’s Italian loafer footsteps, but who amongst this latest crop of young H’wood thespians will pick up the pocket square of refinement?
My bet is on little Jimmy Franco, already breaking hearts and making ladies--of both sexes--swoon. He’s got the charm, the talent, the looks and thankfully the comedic chops to do ole Cary proud.
Oh hi...
Oh hi! It's me, Jourdan Dunn WORKING IT backstage with my camera at Prada!
How good do I look? Can you believe my dark skin against this shiny gold? That pose?
Oh hey Sasha thanks for taking that picture of me! So glad you're back and looking demure after not being in the show last season? Back at fighting weight? Do you think my black skin took your pale ass' place? HAha just kidding!
Girls girls, look at the camera! What a lovely Klan, I mean group you all make!
Look at this white girl pose! Too bad she grew up pickin' potatoes in Bratislovavitchava or wherever and not in mean dirty London like me!
Look at this other white girl! Can you believe that goofy face? She's the new big thing? Fuck girls you all need to BRING it or I will literally trip you myself on that runway!
OMG this is totally candid. Is that a tribal print? Is that a belly shirt? WTF?
Hey Karlie! I'm soooo good thanks... sure! Your grandmother can take a picture of us! Hahaha Karlie that tickles Karlie so stop! Stop. No really Karlie. Paws off the mahogany.
How good do I look? Can you believe my dark skin against this shiny gold? That pose?
Oh hey Sasha thanks for taking that picture of me! So glad you're back and looking demure after not being in the show last season? Back at fighting weight? Do you think my black skin took your pale ass' place? HAha just kidding!
Girls girls, look at the camera! What a lovely Klan, I mean group you all make!
Look at this white girl pose! Too bad she grew up pickin' potatoes in Bratislovavitchava or wherever and not in mean dirty London like me!
Look at this other white girl! Can you believe that goofy face? She's the new big thing? Fuck girls you all need to BRING it or I will literally trip you myself on that runway!
OMG this is totally candid. Is that a tribal print? Is that a belly shirt? WTF?
Hey Karlie! I'm soooo good thanks... sure! Your grandmother can take a picture of us! Hahaha Karlie that tickles Karlie so stop! Stop. No really Karlie. Paws off the mahogany.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Best Of The Season // Storytelling With MJ
What has been missing from fashion for years is storytelling; among the marathon of shows, of countless interchangeable dresses and repeated trends, are few efforts to conjure fantasy. Gone are the days of Christian Dior’s shocking New Look, of Coco Chanel’s intimate presentations to naught but the most glamorous socialites, of Galliano strapping on African headdresses.
The last great storyteller in fashion is Marc Jacobs. This is striking because he is American but has European sensibilities of glamour. He is also timely, prescient and fearlessly original.
For Spring, Jacobs embarked on a historical exploration of the American woman. She was interpreted as a 20th-Century Marc Jacobs idea; from the skirt to the apron to the hat and to the pant, Jacobs evolved pieces in tandem with the rising empowerment of women in American society. He told the story of her change.
The show opened as an homage to the prairie woman, the resilient farmer of the Laura Ingalls variety. Dresses reached to the floor, hats were reminiscent of a 1920s lady gone to town, and the cinched waists suggested a burgeoning femininity. He only needed to add a basket or a parasol to complete the look. Layering was key, and what lies beneath felt special; a faint hint of shimmer beneath the hardy exterior of a woman crossing into a male-dominated, new century America.
The apron was a key motif, as were smocks and other cover-ups in varied plaids and prints and colors. He hides through styling the clothes, the garment to be produced and sold. But what is the point for today? The modern woman does not hide, as Jacobs suggests when he puts a traditional tartan over a modern embellished piece, and the collection revealed the female self-consciousness of the past.
With his arrival in the timeline to the struggle of women’s rights, Jacobs moves on to introduce empowerment with colorful blocking, the pant, strong shoulders and bareness. Hats popped in different colors, the cinching became tougher in leather and plastics and different brocades carried a lightness through patterning.
Liberation can come in a tough electric-blue skirt with a men’s oxford done for a new day: a day at work?
It can also come in a leg or a demure sexiness done with sheer fabrics. Gone are the bonnets and the brimmed hats that felt, in comparison to all of this, stodgy. It’s the introduction of sex.
Jacobs then turned to the arrival of black in American fashion; the sensible little black dress, a le Smoking jacket, a formal cocktail dress. They are now staples but in comparison to the past they look revolutionary, a woman in a suit jacket and a pant when she used to be covered in plaids and an apron. She has moved from the home to the office. The garments are self-evident, uncovered, resilient pieces.
Following the parade of plaid, of aprons, and of his nouvel noir, come Jacobs’ evening wear, a selection of Grecian dresses in soft and romantic hues that fall across the bust in different ways. The dresses look nearly 70s, as if Cher had stumbled out of Studio 54 and onto the runway, but it’s undeniably Classical. Jacobs references our future with the distant past, but how refreshing.
Overall what does Jacobs give us? He tells us a story set to the tune of the American woman's past but he does it by showing us the woman of this season and the future. Designers rarely give us such dualities but Marc always confounds us with his ideas. If only more designers felt as motivated to give us so much.
The last great storyteller in fashion is Marc Jacobs. This is striking because he is American but has European sensibilities of glamour. He is also timely, prescient and fearlessly original.
For Spring, Jacobs embarked on a historical exploration of the American woman. She was interpreted as a 20th-Century Marc Jacobs idea; from the skirt to the apron to the hat and to the pant, Jacobs evolved pieces in tandem with the rising empowerment of women in American society. He told the story of her change.
The show opened as an homage to the prairie woman, the resilient farmer of the Laura Ingalls variety. Dresses reached to the floor, hats were reminiscent of a 1920s lady gone to town, and the cinched waists suggested a burgeoning femininity. He only needed to add a basket or a parasol to complete the look. Layering was key, and what lies beneath felt special; a faint hint of shimmer beneath the hardy exterior of a woman crossing into a male-dominated, new century America.
The apron was a key motif, as were smocks and other cover-ups in varied plaids and prints and colors. He hides through styling the clothes, the garment to be produced and sold. But what is the point for today? The modern woman does not hide, as Jacobs suggests when he puts a traditional tartan over a modern embellished piece, and the collection revealed the female self-consciousness of the past.
With his arrival in the timeline to the struggle of women’s rights, Jacobs moves on to introduce empowerment with colorful blocking, the pant, strong shoulders and bareness. Hats popped in different colors, the cinching became tougher in leather and plastics and different brocades carried a lightness through patterning.
Liberation can come in a tough electric-blue skirt with a men’s oxford done for a new day: a day at work?
It can also come in a leg or a demure sexiness done with sheer fabrics. Gone are the bonnets and the brimmed hats that felt, in comparison to all of this, stodgy. It’s the introduction of sex.
Jacobs then turned to the arrival of black in American fashion; the sensible little black dress, a le Smoking jacket, a formal cocktail dress. They are now staples but in comparison to the past they look revolutionary, a woman in a suit jacket and a pant when she used to be covered in plaids and an apron. She has moved from the home to the office. The garments are self-evident, uncovered, resilient pieces.
Following the parade of plaid, of aprons, and of his nouvel noir, come Jacobs’ evening wear, a selection of Grecian dresses in soft and romantic hues that fall across the bust in different ways. The dresses look nearly 70s, as if Cher had stumbled out of Studio 54 and onto the runway, but it’s undeniably Classical. Jacobs references our future with the distant past, but how refreshing.
Overall what does Jacobs give us? He tells us a story set to the tune of the American woman's past but he does it by showing us the woman of this season and the future. Designers rarely give us such dualities but Marc always confounds us with his ideas. If only more designers felt as motivated to give us so much.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Oh hi...
Wait for me, god this is heavy? Aren't there people to do this? Where's Uncle Joey, I know he's not doing anything besides a mountain of blow anyway. Fine, don't talk to me. You're such a bitch, you now that? You think you're SOOO much better than me because you're on Weeds don't you? Oh, you're playing a stoner, REAL big stretch there, MK. Could you tell your gay to stop following us, he's creeping me out? I wish I was born an only child, then maybe Heath would still be around. Whoops, did that come out? Cunt.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Icon of the Week: The Great Redford
Polished, simple yet always masculine. I'm completely basing my fall look on Redford, circa '74.
The belted trench/flipped collar pea coat, crisp slack, tailored sweater vest and always appropriate leather boot, all tied together by a pair of stunning gold wire frame glasses, a la Three Days of the Condor.
Sculptural
Paris felt entirely shapely this season with interesting shapes in interesting places in various places.
Giambattista Valli was demure and the drama came in the back. For a Parisian it's a go-to, for an American it's a dream look.
Balenciaga was strong as well, from the articulated shoulders to the above-the-knee lengths. The strong trousers also worked well on men, who kept it tough with the girls, and isn't it striking how this label promotes the equality of strength among the sexes? And the shimmer in the dress fabrics felt steely. More to come on this notably Ghesquèrian collection.
Hussein Chalayan had some cool shapes. Experimentation in drape and accent is a Chalayan favorite and for good reason; no one bends a dress like he does. Without feeling otherworldly, the fabrics moved and jutted from the body organically, as a dress flutters in the wind. The futurism felt innovative, not forced.
Giambattista Valli was demure and the drama came in the back. For a Parisian it's a go-to, for an American it's a dream look.
Balenciaga was strong as well, from the articulated shoulders to the above-the-knee lengths. The strong trousers also worked well on men, who kept it tough with the girls, and isn't it striking how this label promotes the equality of strength among the sexes? And the shimmer in the dress fabrics felt steely. More to come on this notably Ghesquèrian collection.
Hussein Chalayan had some cool shapes. Experimentation in drape and accent is a Chalayan favorite and for good reason; no one bends a dress like he does. Without feeling otherworldly, the fabrics moved and jutted from the body organically, as a dress flutters in the wind. The futurism felt innovative, not forced.
Hallowed Be Thy Mane / Curl It In My Mouth
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Simon - the boyfriend of my life. Best male mane in the business.
Curl it. Part it. Slick it. Lipstick. Mouth agape. Move. Hunch that neck. Pose. Perfect.
Oh hi…Lambs
Just keep suckin’ it in, Mimi. Keep suckin’ it in and smilin’ til the lights stop flashing and then maybe the voices will stop. Fat chance, though, right Mimi? Don’t say fat! We don’t use the F word. Nicky? Where’s Nicky? It’s his feeding time and he gets so irritable when he needs some num num. Isn’t that cute? He just started saying that when he’s hungry. Or wants sex. I’m never really sure. I hope to have him potty trained by the end of the year, though. Oh my god, I can’t breathe. I think I’m going to pass out. Lambs, I need a bottle of water, 66.5° F, poured in a crystal decanter with exactly three ice cubes and a shot of Grey Goose, but that’s our little secret--shhhh--and also a side of M&Ms, all red but I like to see one blue one in there ‘cause it makes me feel sexy. Thanks, sweets. Now hurry, Mimi’s fading fast. I said fast! Fast. With an S!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Boyfriend of the Day
Clark / SELECT
I know The Gap has him plastered all over the city...
BUT he just came in today and is utterly divine. He's in the city for another week... Go out, find him, and just try to lightly touch that perfect specimen of man.
I'm still hard, 6 hours later...
Friday, October 3, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Heaven On Earth Is Unironic Self-Reference Done Epically
Fendi and Karl Lagerfeld done by the Herr Master have been near-perfect. More to come...
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
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