Thursday, June 4, 2009

Celebrity Power Akimbo

Dear World, suck on it. Love, Angie.

Once again Forbes has released its list of the world’s 100 most powerful celebrities, and yet again Armed and Akimbo is nowhere to be seen. I hope you don’t expect us to take this slight (like we take pretty much everything else) lying down, Forbes.

Revenge plots aside, La Jolie continues her crusade to take over the world, displacing Mama O from the top spot, which she has held for the past two years. Though Oprah made, according to the mag, $275 mil last year, Jolie’s media exposure and box office successes pushed her to the very top.

Silently gritting her teeth at the number 4 spot is perfectionist (read: robot) Beyoncé who nonetheless graces the cover of the Celebrity 100 issue.

Unless B steps up her earning game, don’t be surprised if Angelina, Oprah and Madonna end up dead next year. Ooh, who wants to see that cage match? For my money, though, I would bet on Madonna since she can bench press the entire top 10 without breaking a sweat.

Below is the rest of the Forbes Top 10, which should be parenthetically titled, Sisters Are Doing It for Themselves.

Forbes Top 10

1. Angelina Jolie
2. Oprah Winfrey
3. Madonna
4. Beyoncé Knowles
5. Tiger Woods
6. Bruce Springsteen
7. Steven Spielberg
8. Jennifer Aniston
9. Brad Pitt
10. Kobe Bryant

P.S. and FYI, 44th president of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama is #49, just a hair below Ryan Seacrest.

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