Thursday, July 31, 2008

Times-Akimbo // Shorts

You can always count on the New York Times to be a few seasons behind in reporting on trends, especially with men's fashion. Our friend Guy Trebay got an earth-shattering scoop as reported in this Thursday's style section: men wear shorts! Hemlines are raising! Legs are in! While at work!

Luckily we've all already been primed for this news given:
...the story "Short Life" from Numéro Homme a couple months ago...

...the recent men's shows especially the leggy Ferragamo's shorts-at-work looks...

... the amazing Sartorialist who has dedicated since July 2007 many a post to office shorts...

...New York Magazine's fashion blog's various posts this summer (no pic needed, just read it)...

...the fashion recaps on the great style blog The Imagist since last show season in New York...

...the frequent short shout-outs on

...and of course Prada's Spring 2007 show which introduced us to the shorts we have since ruminated on.
So thanks Guy for keeping us up to date on all the latest trends from early 2007! Nothing like relevant reporting!

Boyfriend of the Day

Alex Jerny / PREMIER

Everyone knows my love of albinos runs deep, but Alex has really put me over the edge with not only his alabaster skin but his full glorious head of Simon-esque curls. 

A stunning specimen who has already been blessed by Jesus herself in a recent ID editorial. And who doesn't love a little ebony & ivory. 

Mouthed and Agape / SPECIAL EDITION / The Gaping Grievers

How does one follow-up an EPIC July issue?

If you're Vogue Italia you get together a smattering of emerging & seasoned supermodels, put them in a cemetery, and have the impeccable Steven Meisel photograph them crying, wobbling, breaking down, wailing, and hunching all over the place -- and of course, all the while with mouths agape.

Here are my favorite mourning mouths from the best Vogue out there.

Please enjoy Linda, Guinevere, Karen and Iris decked out in the latest fall fashions falling over with grief.

So fabulous I could die...

In The News // Hot Israelis

The Prime Minister of Israel Olmert announces he's stepping down amid corruption brouhaha!

Bar Rafaeli skips out on army service to grace this month's cover of Heeb Magazine!

MOVE // Freja

Step! Reach with those legs! Extend! Keep it masculine!

Mouthed and Agape / The Prom Queen Quiver

Actually too young to be a prom queen, but won't she look fabulous when she is eligible in 2 years...

Abbey Lee and Eniko WORK // Gucci Peek!

Dance bohemia!

Hunch Of The Day // Clawin' Crotch

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Liya Kebede WORK // Lanvin Peek!

Girl you have been the tallest, skinniest, most elegant thing on the catwalk for almost 10 years now and it's like, where are the campaigns? Where are the studio editorials shot by Demarchelier? Lord and Taylor and Estee Lauder are too commercial for those proportions. Plus you make Zimmerman look like a tranny.

Fashion or Real Life?

An image from India depicting impoverished children suffering from the lowering level of education?
Or a highly stylized editorial featuring an Eastern European 18-year-old posing as an impoverished ethnic child?

In The News // Carla Bruni-Sarkozy

The First Lady of France landed the September cover of Vanity Fair! The style issue! Madame Sarko, or The-Model-Formerly-Known-As-Bruni, beat out dozens of starlets and stylistas for the honor and even won a Jackie O comparison. Her glass-cut cheekbones and equestrian garb will be available for purchase soon.

Here's the cover where she succeeds in looking très Franche (or, stern):

And here she is working it at the Vivienne Westwood 1994 prêt-à-porter show (because glass ceilings do NOT exist...even for the poorly-shaven):

Boyfriend of the Day

Garrett Neff / CLICK

Ummmmm.... Oh hi!

MOVE / Wake Up Solange!

Look suprised! Realize suddenly you're on-set and you have to work that summer dress!

Hunch Of The Day // Swan Swoon

Mouthed and Agape / GIvenchy Gap

Which side do you like better??

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Naomi Campbell RAGE

Here are some stills from the truly amazing video by Nick Knight featuring Naomi Campbell as the savior of the hundreds of angry black models around the world (told you she was Jesus). The video, while completely silent, voices the deep anger and rage of one of fashion's foremost photographers. 

It's so brilliant. I mean, look at these:

Besides the incredibly important political message of the video, we also have one of the world's biggest supermodels (and Naomi Campbell at that, I mean the perfection of this is mind-blowing) firing machine-guns and straddling a cannon in fucking Rodarte gowns. Seriously, extreme camp, high fashion, Naomi Campbell, and a call to end racism all in one 3 minute video. Powerful and flawless. 

Imagine Tyra did it... It's almost too much to handle, I know. 

Here's the link to the video, check it out ASAP.

In The News // Gas 'N Gays

With all the headlines devoted to gas prices, the related plunge in big-car sales, and also gay marriage, it seems fitting to pay tribute to all three earth-shakin' stories with this, Mr. Meisel's editorial for the August 2007 Italian Vogue; it features an haute lesbian tanker romp and is appropriately titled 'Serviced.'

True love is found here alongside fuel inefficiency, shiny things and this detail which (guessing) reflects the lesbian call to emit fewer emissions.

Boyfriend of the Day

Ben Mills / SELECT

Look at that pasty pale-skinned perfection!

The boy can pout, part, expose one tit, and hunch with the best of them. 

MOVE // Shorts

Jump like a man! Jump like man in thigh-length ripcord shorts! I said flex those arms!

In The News // Farm Chic

That phrase 'Art Imitates Life' should sometimes be changed to 'Life Imitates Art' or maybe 'Life Mirrors Art' or 'The World is Just Random.' The top is teen Karlie Kloss vamping it up for Italian Vogue thanks to Stephen Meisel. The bottom portrays some of those teen brides down in Texas everyone is obsessing over. Maury Povitch or not, everyone loves a polygamist baby-daddy scandal.

Mouthed and Agape / Peacock Part

Daria. French Vogue. Terry Richardson. Cigarette. Peacock Mask. 
And a part... Perfect. 

Hunch Of The Day // Tranny Twink Turn

Fresh Meat : TRUMP

While Trump rarely has any really great fresh meat, Magalie Daignault breaks the lackluster mold. This leggy 16-year old French-Canadian is the best import since her tiny compatriot, Ms. Dion. 

The slightly boyish/andorgynous face and bone structure. A stately nose. The strong, dark brow. Big puff of brunette hair. Legs for miles. And already the perfect pout. After only 5 months of modeling. 

Watch out for this one. Despite her tacky t-shirt she is definitely one to keep an eye out for come show season. 

The World According to Diahann Carroll...

Who could forget that noble blacktress who brought us two tremendous firsts to that wondrous art of television : a.) the first African American woman to star in her own series in
Julia in 1968 and b.) the first fierce African American bitch to throw shade and extra dry martinis in Dynasty in 1984? Who could forget her and those impossibly high cheekbones from which the world, and at one point Sidney Poitier, hung. Sorely, many have, that is, until now. Luckily, bitch is on the comeback trail as evinced by her feature in Vogue's annual age issue. 73 and still turning it out. Look at that perfectly manicured, Oscar-nominated, Tony-winning claw. Hey, Lady. You, Lady. It was either you, Cissy Tyson or Ms. Ross back in the 70s. Good company, but alas, it was not meant to be for any of you classy broads. That's the world we live in, but guess who's got the last laugh now, Di? I think that balloon sleeve on your Teri Jon by Rick Freeman taffeta shirt says it all. And that face. That face that has launched a thousand miscarriages. Tighter than that tiny bow-cinched waist. I know that I, for one, wait with baited breath for the release of your memoir, The Legs are the Last to Go: Aging, Acting, Marrying & Other Things I Learned the Hard Way in September, if only for this little quote, courtesy of Vogue:

"Behind the wheel of this lurid yellow car was this tiny black woman with a huge head of hair flying in the wind. As she drove past me, I recognized it was Diana Ross.

"'There goes the neighborhood,' I muttered to myself."

And here comes a bestseller. I only hope that one day Ms. Carroll can feebly slap me across the face with an autographed copy. That moment would go right up there with getting groped by Paul Newman and fleeced by Carol Channing.


Monday, July 28, 2008

The New Sexy is Apparently Being Completely Un-Sexy

In possibly the worst casting job in recent years, the treacherous snake Magdalena is seen awkwardly vamping it up for the new Alessandro Dell Acqua ad campaign. After a few seasons of lackluster reviews and being completely irrelevant, I understand the desire to cast a recognizable model in their campaign. But seeing that dish-faced & curve-less praying mantis trying to be provocative and sexy is utterly repulsive. While Magdalena is clearly a beautiful girl (albeit in an offbeat kind of way) what is she doing sticking out her non-existent chest  in a satin burnt orange halter dress (which is hideous btw) and glaring at the camera with a 'come-hither' stare. I'm not buying it (obviously) and I don't think anyone else will. 

It seems a shame that there are beautiful, curvy, and sexy models out there that are not being used for jobs that would actually suit them. Give me a bombshell!! There is a serious shortage of them and if you're going to go there in concept (the poses are classic, ask Tyra...) go there with the body and the girl. Aren't their enough jobs out there for the white & shapeless? 

Go home bitch and eat a bowl of pasta. I'm done.

MOVE // The Crosswalk Craze

Stand in that street and shake your cape in front of everyone! Drop that head and make it fashion!

who dat