RihannaYeah, I don't know why I'm famous either, but hey, why question it? I mean, there's this:
You like this Madonna/Janet/Cher look I'm pulling off, right? But, being the artist I am, here's a sequined eye-patch. It's all about originality. And so what if my performance was lackluster and boring, as long as I surround myself with an army of dancers, dress in bizarrely fierce outfits and fuck Chris Brown, who is NOT gay, thank you, then I should be fine.
Miley CyrusWoo! Sixteen and ready to bone! Where's my sexy, statutory-aged boyfriend so we can ring in this birthday, right?! I even shaved my mustache for this specific occasion. Sexy sexy.
XtinaRolling out a greatest hits package, otherwise I wouldn't even be here. I've got a million other things I could be doing, including a new baby, thank you, but this record's not gonna push itself. Momma's gotta go scream, occasionally on-key, for her supper. Get outta my way, I'm also on the rag.
Jonas BrothersGiving head to dudes doesn't count as sex right? I mean, that's what Chris Brown said, and he's the Artist of the Year. Remember when that meant something? Yeah, me neither.
ToccaraJust make sure the caption says, "Supermodel Toccara..."
Alicia KeysAll right, that's close enough. I got a little bronzer on the dress so don't take any close pictures, k, fellas? Hey, you! With the zoom lens. What the hell did I say? Back the fuck up before I show you a woman's worth all over your face, chief.
KanyeWhat the hell you lookin' at? You never seen a black man with a fox tail before? I grew it last night by sheer force of will. I'm working on a unicorn's horn for the Grammys. Get your Haterade out now, motherfuckas.
PinkHey, remember when I was the best thing to happen to pop music since Madonna became a Jew? Yeah, of course you don't because you've been so far up Brit's cunt for the past ten years you missed it. Oh well, guess who won in the end, assholes? This cunt.
was sixteen for like eighteen years...All right, ladies, let's get it!