Cover It Up: A Stroll Through W Lane

Wandering through W Magazine's cover archive brought up so many memories. I can easily trace my fashion development with W's, as we both sprang into womanhood around the same time.

Premiering in September of 2001, at least one reason why its birth is muddled in the haze (this being another), I was but a sophomore in high school, taking baby steps through my first issues of Vogue.

Then this giant, modestly-priced number came along and I slipped into it as easily as Karlie Kloss into a couture bodysuit. Nearly ten years later, here we both are, a little worse for wear, but still actively turning it.

Below, in my not so humble opinion, are the greatest covers in W's short history, year by year.

2002

W's first great cover came a good 9 months into its inception. This was the first cover I actually remember hearing about, though it certainly wouldn't be the last buzzworthy cover for the mag. A post-klepto Winona, tussled hair, punk attitude and all, sporting her own ubiquitous T whose image is weirdly reminiscent of a young Mary Tyler Moore, sans the innocence or Dick van Dyke.

2003

Selma Blair, where are you? Her January 2003 cover is simple and perfect, with those GIANT mod eyelashes (that I would wear everyday if I could) and slightly agape mouth. Meanwhile, Pam Anderson strikes an all together completely different pose, giving windswept 80s sex pot.

2004

Androgyny, always a favorite topic in fashion, is given double exposure via Gisele's (hunching for her life) January 2004 cover and W's "Asexual Revolution" issue later that year.

2005

Karen Elson, MOVE! The Brangelina cover, the issue that really made W's one-letter name, is still one of their best. The 60-page Steven Klein shoot now seems eerily prescient, given the beaten up state of Angie's vagina. He was a bit off on the kids' shading, though.

2006

Probably the best year for W, I had trouble picking only four covers. Usually and openly not a fan of Cammy D, she looks AMAZING in the December 2006 issue. Mostly because it doesn't look anything like her. Meanwhile, Christina Ricci's stunning fur-trimmed hunch caused those uptight PETA assholes to wet themselves. And Meryl's and La Lohan's cover is still HILARIOUS.

2007

Someone I'm also not a fan of, Gwynny Paltrow, has never looked better, or more equine, than in September 2007. A month earlier, alien-robot couple, The Beckhams, had one of the sexiest shoots, perhaps ever and enough cannot be said about Naomi's photojournal. I'm still gagging over it.

2008

Little Orphan Annie Hathaway was about to hop on the Oscar train as a front-runner for her wonderful performance in Rachel Getting Married, and was having a serious moment. Though Hath lost, August cover girl, Pepe Cruz, snatched a trophy with the same delicate hand that's caressing her shoulder.

2009

Madonna and W have always had a great relationship, and thanks to W, the icon got another relationship out of the deal. After spinning her divorce into yet another publicity stunt, she began dating her barely legal co-star from the shoot. Somethings, thank god, never change.

2010

I'm still shocked.

A new era began at W this week, and hopefully more epic covers will follow in the years to come. However, this, will not cut it.

EDIT: Well, apparently W's been around since 1971. Who knew?

I, for One, Am Terrified

Fierce and scowling I can deal with. Hell, it's what I pay for. But cute and cuddly? And "real"? When is this madness going to end?! First Madonna washing dishes now this?

Meanwhile, that puppy never saw the light of day again as Vicks sacrificed him to the fashion gods and now wears him as a muff.

Some choice quotes:


“I’m a very, very healthy eater. I eat lots of fish, lots of vegetables, lots of fruit. I don’t eat junk food. I work out.”

Perhaps she's confusing "eating" with "smelling and throwing away."

“I’m not a supermodel. I make the best of what I’ve got. I work out to look the best that I can, but I’m no Gisele.”

After the tape recorder stopped rolling: "I'm better."

“So if I’m not working, I go to the school and help serve lunches to the children. They just love that. It’s like, Oh, there’s Mummy serving me!”

If I was her child, I would something more along the lines of: "Oh, there's Mummy turning it! And why does she look so nauseous around all the food?"

Oh hi...

Darling, be honest with me. Do I look fat against this ladder? I’ve never had to pose with anything frailer than I am. Even when that cunt Geri Halliwell lost 400 lbs, she still looked like a house in comparison. Just make sure you Photoshop an extra 10 lbs onto this blasted contraption. Give it a double rung, throw it in a muumuu, something for god's sake! I will NOT be upstaged in my own Armani ad. Now, if you'll excuse me, this ponytail isn't going to swing itself.

Fabulous Akimbo // Advertising Vicky Becks

AnA has been sitting on this-- stop laughing! -- for a couple days without any idea how to address it. So here are the pictures in question: Posh, her charcoal makeup, ponytail, Emporio Armani lingerie, giant posters, mouth agape.

Can she get more perfect? She's not even a model! She looks better than most models! Is this all it takes, a diet of two green tea bags a day, to land one of the hottest men in the world? AnA has subsisted on rice cakes for years and we look like absolute cows in our lacy underwire ... where did we go wrong?