The Times They Are A-Changin'

There she is. 1994, sharing and effortlessly stealing the spotlight, that gam extended straight towards Hell.

Now 2009. Practically the same, natch. But who's to say that she can't be naked and wear fur? Hypocrite? Maybe. An 80-year old super who just doesn't give a fuck? What do you think?

Mouthed and Agape / A Trinity of Tongues

V for Vixen

Dear Naomi,

Literally 82 years old and still kicking. Your face is a tranny daydream. Your body the proverbial brick house. Mighty mighty. Let it all hang out, girl.

Since you're probably never going to have kids (I mean why ruin a good thing?) you really need to just adopt Dolly, Ms. Streisand and I. Take us with you to Saint-Tropez, sleepovers at Papa Azzedine's palatial mans, coke parties with Kate. We can take a phone to the temple like a pro.

Love,
AnA

P.S. Loving the Wonder Woman bracelets. Beyoncé has nothing on you.

Smell Like Naomi Akimbo

Via our friends at WWD... previews of the new D&G fragrance advertisements. Supermodels of both genders giving face and skin. Except for Naomi, of a unique gender of her own and clothed in the shadows of her cheekbones. You better be at the MET gala! And all the girls are wearing short skirts so we can't wait for those gams to come out, it's been too long!

Oh Hide (and Seek with Naomi)

Hey! Back here. Keep going. The very back, assholes. No, not that cow, the flawless black and Chinese supermodel next to this Obama bitch. I demand a close-up! For the record, I do not appreciate being hidden away in a convenient corner like Tom Cruise's boytoy, i.e. Katie Holmes, while these dames and quote-unquote ladies hog my spotlight. I'm best friends with Nelson goddamn Mandela!...I dated Usher. I deserve more than peeking out over Michele Obama's bony shoulder. You smell divine, by the way dear. Is that jungle gardenia? Do you want to make out after this? I'll take your silence as a maybe. Hey, photog, hust hurry up and snap the damn picture already, I've got a non-eating lunch date with Victoria Beckham and if I'm late she'll go mad and devour a Saltine. It's really quite unattractive. Not as unattractve as these broads, but I digress. Cheese!

Naomi Campbell Wink

The Resurrection

Our Naomi who art in heaven (?),

Hallowed be thy mane,

thy queendom come,

thy will be done

in YSL as it is in heaven.

Give us this our daily pose.

And forgive us our hunches,

As we forgive those who hunch against us.

And lead us not into catalogues;

But deliver us to couture.

For thine is the queendom,

the power,

and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen