Thursday, April 2, 2009

Oh Hide (and Seek with Naomi)

Hey! Back here. Keep going. The very back, assholes. No, not that cow, the flawless black and Chinese supermodel next to this Obama bitch. I demand a close-up! For the record, I do not appreciate being hidden away in a convenient corner like Tom Cruise's boytoy, i.e. Katie Holmes, while these dames and quote-unquote ladies hog my spotlight. I'm best friends with Nelson goddamn Mandela!...I dated Usher. I deserve more than peeking out over Michele Obama's bony shoulder. You smell divine, by the way dear. Is that jungle gardenia? Do you want to make out after this? I'll take your silence as a maybe. Hey, photog, hust hurry up and snap the damn picture already, I've got a non-eating lunch date with Victoria Beckham and if I'm late she'll go mad and devour a Saltine. It's really quite unattractive. Not as unattractve as these broads, but I digress. Cheese!

who dat