Oh hi. It's me, Ashley Olsen's rear cleavage clad in ivory.What a view. Do you like my showstopping dress by The Row? I had it made by a very special someone named MK who spent hours toiling with her tiny goblin hands glued to a sewing machine. To make sure this drape fell low but not TOO low. Just enough to hide the buttocks. It's perfect like my train, long but not dragging along. What about my hair? Simple, controlled, understated, impossibly elegant. And that trademark smirk? Looking great with a smokey eye. Excuse me while I sit myself down for dinner: a bottle of champagne and a deep, deep inhale.