Thursday, January 21, 2010

She Is No Sharon Stone

Since when has that been an insult?

If you read AnA's patron saint of capes and leopard prints, André Leon Talley's critique of the Golden Globe red carpet, the answer is now.

And while we worship at the altar of Vogue's "Editor-at-Large," whatever that means, we must respectfully disagree.

Yes, the Globes were boring, both pre- and during-the-show. Few dresses inspired us to gasp, and those that did, well apparently everyone else hated.

-Cathy Horyn referred to Drew's impeccable Atelier Versace gown "something beige and stuffy"
-New York Mag, the slightly richer man's Time Out New York and alleged fashion connoisseur, felt Chloe's dress "made her look like a piece of albino seaweed."
-And André wondered why, since Marion had "such a remarkable relationship" with M. Galliano, would she "choose such a schizophrenic Dior dress? (Short? Long? Covered? Uncovered?)"

Meanwhile, Horyn loved Tea Leoni in what looked like a rumpled men's shirt above a tablecloth.
New York Mag shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a fashion column.
And ALT still hasn't lived down these massive, crocodile loafer-footed missteps:

And then there's the giant hubbub about Christian Siriano's dress for the well-endowed Christina Hendricks. NY Mag claims ALT's prejudice is not at all related to PJ Runway, since he loved Meryl's Chris March- (who?) designed gown:

This sloppy, boring number cinched with what looks like a belt from Forever 21. Ok. Christina's dress was fun and flirty because...she's fun and flirty. Throw some ruffles on that bitch and call it a day.

Now, are we saying that we -- the unpaid, largely unknown and undulating ladies of Armed and Akimbo -- are better-suited to pass criticism on red carpet looks?


But, more importantly, we're saying that, lighten up. It's the Globes, the fashion equivalent of the high-school prom. The Oscars are the big show and hopefully everyone will step up her couture game. And if they don't, we'll still be here, doling out advice and throwing shade, because we love fashion.

No matter how hopelessly misguided it is.

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