Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Remember five years ago, love? When everyone was clamoring to know what you were wearing? When every red carpet outfit was positively major and the fashion world turned a lazy eye to you and winked in approval? Remember when you had a career? Well, neither do I. But there's a new HBiC and my husband is...well, he's no rabid, diseased chihuahua, dear. His bulge is proudly dispalyed all over Manhattan. And that's my bulge. I literally own half of it. Oh, and though you claim to have lost all that baby weight--I've had three kids, but now I'm just showing off--I'l still make you look plus-sized compared to how painfully bone-thin I am when this goes to press. Don't you just hate me? I love you though and I believe you can make a comeback. Even if my new label's destined to succeed where yours failed...and I don't mean Filene's Basement. Ouch, my face just cracked a little when I smirked. Luckily, Plastic Surgeon's on speed dial...right after Mrs. Cruise.