Remember five years ago, love? When everyone was clamoring to know what you were wearing? When every red carpet outfit was positively major and the fashion world turned a lazy eye to you and winked in approval? Remember when you had a career? Well, neither do I. But there's a new HBiC and my husband is...well, he's no rabid, diseased chihuahua, dear. His bulge is proudly dispalyed all over Manhattan. And that's my bulge. I literally own half of it. Oh, and though you claim to have lost all that baby weight--I've had three kids, but now I'm just showing off--I'l still make you look plus-sized compared to how painfully bone-thin I am when this goes to press. Don't you just hate me? I love you though and I believe you can make a comeback. Even if my new label's destined to succeed where yours failed...and I don't mean Filene's Basement. Ouch, my face just cracked a little when I smirked. Luckily, Plastic Surgeon's on speed dial...right after Mrs. Cruise.
1 comment:
I think my calf is bigger than her waist. Sheez, she got tinier! I think i like the hair.
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