Thursday, April 9, 2009

Supermodel (You Better Work)

Gisele. The horse-faced Brazilian is the only real supermodel to come out of the oughties. She goes by one name, dates (then marries) high-profile man candy, and even stars in horrible movies that no one cares to remember, just like the supers of the high-flying 90s. Fair Game anyone?

But why only her? Is one supermodel of the world all that Fashion can handle/tolerate? And what about the next decade? Will we see Agyness, Chanel, Coco, Hilary (where is she?), Gemma, Sessilee or any number of potential divas ascend to the ranks of Evangelistan egotism?

Or was the Brazilian bombshell just a fluke?

Not by a long shot. If these girls can learn anything from La Bündchen, this is it:

1. Become a Victoria's Secret model. Sure, it's not real modeling, but it's exposure. Just look at Adriana Lima, whom more people know by name than, say, Karlie Kloss. Is that right? Please. But if it's good enough for Tyra...

2. Whore yourself out. Gisele is in Guinness as the world's richest supermodel, and she didn't get that way by doing a few runway shows a year and skipping a few (hundred) meals. Girl's got her own line of flip-flops. Flip flops. What's next, Liya Kebede comes out with her own line of Uggs? If we see Kebede Uggs on the market, we demand a share of the revenue. Just a word of warning, though, it's best to avoid the Kathy Ireland K-Mart route.

3. Don't be afraid of a little skin. Just look at this cover. In a proper supermodel, women want someone they can aspire to, whereas men just want someone they can beat off to. In truth, Gisele is probably more popular with men than women (AnA certainly doesn't get the appeal, though girl can pose), and it's that broad appeal that makes a model...super (thanks for asking).

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