Feeling Conjugal...

I chased down a baby ostrich, killed it with my bare hands, plucked some ass feathers and threw it on a hat just in time for my wedding to one Ms. Enrique Martin.

He cried tears of joy when he saw me...or that might have been because I videotaped the murder and put it on repeat as a slideshow projected over his head for the entire ceremony.

It was a really beautiful and classy affair.

Clasica Akimbo // Dos Carolinas

Oh, hola.

MMMM this milk is muy delicioso. Who is this, perched a mano ezquierda? It is me? No... a younger, less bonita me. Less... taut. You have no glass of milk? Why is this? Too busy leaning against your creator? Do you like my white shirt? Que rafinado! Nice, but it's a Carolina Herrera!