Friday, January 30, 2009

Oh-No-She-Didn't Akimbo // Turning It Out

Ana Claudia keeps up her modeling career resurrection with:

...a much-deserved switch from super-commercial Ford Models to the super cool Supreme Management...

...and a blonde dye job everyone is talking about. Roots are in at Givenchy Couture! Let's see what happens.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Colour of Couture: The Big Three

Really, the only three.

Jourdan, Chanel and Sessilee continue to stomp down the runways for equality, even in this, the most exclusive and elitist of fashion catwalks, Haute Couture. Especially in these trying, bargain, priced to move times, Haute Couture represents the triumph of the imagination, so would it be such a stretch of the imagination to have more than three stunning black girls representing diversity? And do they take away from the clothes at all? Naomi in Heaven (…?), no! It’s Gaultier HC and no woman, model or otherwise, could possibly overshadow the pieces in this incredible collection. The designer has done his work; the clothes are strong, lovely and highly desirable -- if unattainable -- so why worry about the eye being distracted by a different face, a different shade, a different size? If anything, these three nouveau supermodels remind one of a young Josephine Baker, full of joie de vivre and passion, twirling around half-naked in a Parisian nightclub, giving the clothes and added touch of Fun! Love! Life! How many gaunt, staving frames can one stare at before one starts to get bored and feel a bit ill at ease? Diversity adds to the look and feel of a show, eschewing a single-minded conformity for a global economy and universal togetherness that is necessary if we’re going to survive the coming New Wal-Mart World Order. And if you need further argument, just take a look at how ethereal, how absolutely fucking divine Liu Wren looks—she’s floating on gossamer wings!

Give us more color underneath the clothes!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Oh hi...

Naomi - you little minx! Taking a picture of me without my make-up all done! Hahahahahahahaha!

Silly girl!! Come to Mama Patty darling. You are too good to me. Of course I'll fix you up before you leave. OK, sit down baby. Here's a line from mama. Good girl. Good girl. Now after I refurbish this bitch with my Mac Mac brushes, mama is going to go down on you. You know the deal sweetie... 

Now, spread those gams you goddess. 

Mouthed and Agape / The Cover Cry

I want my Chanel FLOWER cap

Oh hi. Too much?

Karl Lagerfeld ensures the future of modern haute couture (despite apocalypticly crotchety ruminations on its demise) with yet another excellent collection for Chanel that chooses key wardrobe elements and proceeds to deconstruct them in a highly logical and beautiful way. This season, Karl chose: the slim pant, black and white, flowers (not florals) and cap sleeves. All of which he applied his trademark sense of exotic futurism and the traditional Chanel quality and construction.
Some of the dresses carried over onto great white skinny trousers that grazed above the ankle. Karl loves a trend but isn't afraid to ruffle it up a bit.

The ivory and whites looked great because the fabric Karl likened to thin paper, and to emulate this effect of transparency and fragility he added girl-like cap sleeves. The darling effect worked with the light hats, which made the girls float down the runway.

Also this idea of rectangular shapes that has been reappearing (think Ferré) also turned up Chez Chanel. Jackets with rounded collars stopped short above the waist in sharp lines.
The black experiments looked great because of the shines and matte, plus with all the goth darkness we've been seeing it was nice to see the delicacy of this embroidery and millinery.

These dresses were pretty with all the emphasis on the waist. They were cocktail dresses, and red-carpet gowns in brave black-and-whites.
I think it was a collection Jacqueline Lee Bouvier Kennedy Onassis would love. Keeping it classic but front-page worthy are both Chanel and Jackie O traditions.

And finally, back to the hats because they're amazing. Designed by a Japanese hair-guy named Kamo, they hearkened to
the last Fendi collection, but don't let that distract you from the best accessory of all: a drag face.

Boyfriend of the Day

Lucas Kerr

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Preach on It

“It’s not just black girls. It’s ethnic girls in general: Brazilian girls, Hispanic. You really don’t see a lot of Asians either. A lot of designers think that if every girl on the runway looks exactly alike, then people will come to the shows and buy the clothes because they won’t be focusing on the models….It’s not even just runway either… us ethnic girls should be getting a lot of the covers too! I would love to be on half of the campaigns these [white] girls are booking, all looking exactly alike. It’s not right. It’s not fair.” --Chanel Iman, Page Six Magazine 1/25/09

And then there's this:Laugh! Mahogany! Glide!

The British Do Everything Better

...or at least with more style.
Besides playing the best dressed character on TV--it's really a toss-up between Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf-- Ed Westwick has that odd but sexy factor that we couldn't understand for the longest time. Then he opened his mouth and that darling accent came out. We Americans are so easy...and damned proud of it.

As Dior As My Witness, I'll Never Go Drag Again!

Kicking off Couture this time around was John Galliano for Dior, and it was a dramatic collection that fiery divas like Scarlett O'Hara would love; but more on that later. One of the highlights of this week will be the hair and makeup, but ponder these crimped and frizzed weaves and painted close-ups; can you see what I see?

Adams apple, anyone? With all these drag faces I was hoping
RuPaul herself would take a turn.

First of all, the most wearable were the chic cocktail numbers that dropped below the knee and stuck a little oomph on the hip. I'm a little done with belted frocks in general but his
crayola number on the right wisely uses the belt to tuck in that hourglass detail; these were a little bit 20s but modern.

More shape came from funnel-like forms tucked about the skirt, tulles and satins twisted onto themselves or cut to flow away from the thigh, all like petticoats of air. And who doesn't love dramatic details and the occasional bow.

Galliano also played with pleating. Was it sculptural? Yes, a lot of dresses carried squares of pleated fabric on the front of the garment. And no, they floated away almost independently, a demure crimping of the material. It felt like a surprise.

The cream and sky blue florals were also surprisingly classic-but-bold. I like the giant patterns because more-traditional brocades and small detailing are less youthful, but size means confidence, and feeling like a beautiful tableau painting only a few woman can do.

And with that let's return to the Scarlett reference: the fire in Galliano that bursts through everything. In the past he has referenced Incan warriors, Miami Luxe, headdresses, Joan of Arc, and of course that awesome collection about Origami couture.
Galliano's character this season emulated the Gone With The Wind heroine in the dramatics and the sass of the collection.

Plus the hottest dress belongs on a girl who can crush a man's balls by going after his brother, deliver a baby, run a plantation, survive the Civil War ... basically
Angelina Jolie. So let's pray she wears this to the Oscars!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Work it Tranny or Tranny Hot Mess??

Jethro Cave - Hedi Slimane and Nicola Formichetti's new muse... I get where they're going with this thing, but is it boring - the whole tranny/hipster/mullet thing as the fashion muse? Is he attractive at all really?


Mouthed and Agape / Double Penetration

Pickin' Up the SAG

Nicolette Sheridan in Roberto Cavalli

Side-stepping and posing right out of 1981! If only that skirt were actually a legging, we could perhaps salvage this look. That and if you were accompanied by Laura Brannigan's "Gloria" wherever you went.

Jane Krakowski in Roberto Cavalli

How can we put this lightly? Your boobs are kind of gross...we tried. We still love and live for you, though.

Holly Hunter in Reem Acra

We applaud your daring choice of color, Holly, and we're also a bit turned on by your massive guns. Madge better watch her mannish back.

Tina Fey in Brian Reyes

Oooh la la, gam alert. You're like the sexiest librarian we know, Tina. Keep being you.

Marisa Tomei in Elie Saab

Love a cascading ruffle.

Mickey Rourke in Dolce & Gabana

Scarf, inward knee, hand in belt, messy pocket square and pose!

Taraji P. Henson in Hervé L. Leroux

Body-conscious was the theme of the night and normally we don't go ga-ga over the fairer sex, but, dammit, the figure is flawless.

Kate Winslet in Narciso Rodriguez

This is your year, Winnie and to prove it, the two globes you just won are out on the town.

Anne Hathaway in Azzaro

Look at our little princess and how she's grown. You're on a winning streak, Hathy. Obviously not awards-wise, but as long as you look better than everyone else, who cares, right? Right?

La Streep in Donna Karen

Yeah, we know you didn't expect to win, and really, neither did we, but we're glad you at least brought out that magnificent, "greatest living actress" clavicle.

Viola Davis in David Meister

Asymmetrical, COLOR, and poise. And starring as Michelle Obama in the inevitable Obama biopic starring Will Smith -- give it a rest already -- Ms. Viola Davis.

Teri Hatcher in Monique Lhuilier

We know you try so hard, Teri but this time you actually pulled it off -- diaphanous with yet another asymmetrical shoulder. If you could only tone down that joker grin, we could almost see falling in love with you...almost.

Les Jolie-Pitts, Ma Azria and Tom Ford

Didn't Angelina used to be interesting and sexy and just a bit dangerous? This whole matronly look is boring, safe and would look better on a woman twice your age and half your crazy. The Oscars are a month away and until then we'll be here if you need us.

Kate Cruise in Jil Sander

Now this is how you do hot, young Hollywood wife/mother and this bitch isn't even nominated. Or even an actress.

Amy Adams in Giambattista Valli

That plum tone against your skin is simply divine as is that bow thing you've got going on. And even if you didn't win, you got a shout-out from Meryl so no one feels sorry for you.

Gareth Pugh Is Every Tranny Vampire's Dream

Oh Mr. Pugh. Every time I look at my black combat boots I think, "What would Gareth do?"

The answer lies somewhere between a fabulous goth drag queen and the pre-"Tea with Mussolini" Cher. Black leather, dark leggings slashed through, an occasional dark or grey shag fur all showed up on his runway.

Skin was everywhere, and these gaunt boys were working it with headwear that resembled fingers grabbing creepily at the head.
Consider this a modern renaissance of goth fashion, done with an ethereal sensuality. Goth has drifted into predictable territory given the destructive influence à la Hot Topic. But in the vein of Alexander McQueen's attempts a couple years ago, let's all hope Pugh diverts from the obvious and continues to riff on his dark ideas.

who dat