A&F Still Masquerading as a Clothing Company

Despite its lack of clothes.

Frail, mustachioed men hiding in the corners of darkened movie theaters: rejoice!. The A&F Quarterly is back!

After depriving the world for seven years of their well-muscled male models in homoerotic situations, Abercrombie is once again displaying firm, bare man asses, but with an occasional girl thrown in to spice things up.

And who should be at the helm but that professional ass-grabber, and fairy godmother to the girls at AnA, Bruce Weber?

Uh-oh, a vaguely black girl! This is change I can pretend to believe in.

I know I'll be pre-ordering mine.

Dear Tom...

We miss you.

We miss your over-the-top, sex-craziness that made Gucci the go-to brand for ladies who had grown tired of being ladylike.

We miss your wildly inappropriate forays into the magazine world. Others have tried, but they can only pale in comparison. Particularly since those others of which we speak reek of desperation and if we weren't sure it was Marc Jacobs, probably Davidoff Cool Water.

We miss that extra-large forehead that may or may not be signs of balding (most likely the former) .

We miss your timeless and effortless personal style. Sure, we've only seen you in a tuxedo or your birthday suit in the past fifteen plus years...but both looks are absolutely flawless.

But most of all, we miss that chest hair. We wanna snuggle our way in their and live til the world collapses all around us and plus-sized models stomp down Parisian catwalks.

You're rich, a complete perv and let's not forget, a fucking genius. Come back to us.

Love,
AnA

P.S. Keep this coming, Uncle Tom...and we'll be sure to do the same. Hiyo!