Oh hi...

Remember when everyone thought I was just a slutty airhead with a squeaky voice who'd do anything--and anyone--to get to the top? Well, look who's laughing now, bitches. This gal. Sure I may have sold my soul in return for this body, this career and these Brazilian ass/cheek implants, but it was nonetheless a worthwhile investment. Just look where my peers are: the Michaels, the Princes, the Whitneys, the Janets, even that cow Mimi. Victory. Suck it. Excuse me while I bask in the warm halogen glow of these flashbulbs and try not to think about my marriage falling apart and my kids inevitably hating me for using them as a prop and occasional publicity stunt. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.