I Just Sh*t Myself Akimbo

Handle the May issue of Vogue Paris with care. There are enough chiseled cheekbones on this cover to induce severe bleeding.

Pepe serves as guest editor for this month's mag and corralled several of my favorite actresses...and Gwyneth Paltrow, for what is literally perfection.

They're all wearing Gap (Red) T-shirts benefiting some charity, which explains Bono's presence amidst all this sapphic delight.

And Pepe and Meryl are clearly fucking, which explains this little slice of heaven.


I love when actresses bump Oscars.

MOVE // Daria Desnuda

Scowl! Bare those breasts! You are woman! Now roar, bitch! Roar!

MOVE // Toddler Turning It

La Vie En Cordero

Feeling Restless...

The ladies at AnA, Ms. Ross, Dolly and Ms. Streisand, threw on some head scarves, poured ourselves into graphic leggings and belted our trenches to seek out what the world had to offer.

What Good Is Sitting All Alone in Your Room?

Come, see Sasha play Liza!

Little girl lost


Dear Bruce Weber, thank you for invading my dreams. xoxo, Ms. Ross


Hello, world! Liza's back!


"Reality, much like a half-naked male model in gold lamé booty shorts, is something you rise above." -- Liza


"I got my talent, in addition to my drug/alcohol dependency from my mother, but my dreams, in addition to my love of gay men, from my father." -- Liza

54 - '09...who's got the silver spoon, mama's starting to feel things again?!

Cup it

A diva in her natural element, near comatose and chain-smoking on a technicolor dreamrug, while slugging some bourbon...they don't make 'em like this anymore

"My family's been in show business since the 1700s. I traced them. I'm bred to this. Like a racehorse. A thoroughbred. Look at my parents, my God. But it was my curiosity that made me do this. Because you could also say, 'Look at Frank Sinatra Jr.' It's not like a natural thing that happens. You gotta work." -- Liza

Work, tranny, work!

Covers Akimbo // En Français?

Inez and Vinoodh provide another cover of French Vogue this month, with a headline celebrating "80s Looks," but the duo fail to celebrate the 80s or anything in general with a fairly bland, head-on shot of Daria Werbowy. Sorry, I + V; if you're going to keep giving us the same cheekbones on the same magazine with those arms raised AGAIN--

SNOOZE

-- then just forget it and give us something worthy of the Met. Slightly off-center, with a naturally ethnically ambiguous cocked eyebrow, Janice delivers from the 80s the sort of cover French Vogue should aim for, instead of a watered down version sans any punch.

CURATE THIS

Other, less aged magazines keep giving us great images --this month, instead try Numero Tokyo for Eva Herzigova in what AnA calls a COLLAR made of LACE. Tilt it and pout!

FRILLY AND WHAT?

What It Takes Akimbo // Manly Ladies

AnA loves 90s supermodel Kristen McMenamy, and her new Italian Vogue cover even more in that silver haired androgynous way. Here she is all atwist, ruffled and bent across the front of the magazine as shot by Steven Meisel.

Kristen's lithe features, strong square jaw and cropped hair seem to inspire all the hype around the new model Iris, the current American Vogue mannequin and former French Vogue gal. Mert and Marcus dragged her out a bit for this shot.

No one does it like Kristen but what does everyone think of Iris and that masculine hair? In our opinion, there is always room for another six foot, bone thing gender bender!

Mouthed and Agape / Amused Bouche

Strip-Jean Akimbo

Strip! AnA revels in our appreciation of the May French Vogue -- we mentioned it here, here and here -- by turning to Herr Jeurgen Teller's breastastic celebration of jean booty skirts and legs stacked atop sky high heels. And remember, a pursed lip looks best when curtained by wavy blond hair. It's almost summer, kids!

Vogue in Jeans Akimbo!

The May French Vogue is a denim devotee's dream, and carries the AnA seal of approval. Here is the cover:

A cropped jean jacket, popped collar, and safari shorts on a toned body! AnA will discuss story by story this fun issue in the following days. We're just too lazy to do it now!

Bitch Attitudes Akimbo

AnA supports from our manicured tips to our tiny Laboutins a moody mademoiselle who's into masculine clothing. But think less Annie Hall; go for tough bitch via Olivia Newton John. Here is the look according to April's Vogue UK as shot by Alasdair McLellan. Go denim since it's titled Mood Indigo:

And then here it is via this month's Vogue Paris, where androgynous reigns supreme. Same model, similiar attitude, but a more relaxed feel. Mario Sorrenti rules.

French Vogue Akimbo // Accessories For Spring

Ladle

Bull

Chicken

Donkey

Piglet

Pitcher of water

Lamb

Cheese

Farmhand

Billy goats

Cow