Covers Akimbo // En Français?

Inez and Vinoodh provide another cover of French Vogue this month, with a headline celebrating "80s Looks," but the duo fail to celebrate the 80s or anything in general with a fairly bland, head-on shot of Daria Werbowy. Sorry, I + V; if you're going to keep giving us the same cheekbones on the same magazine with those arms raised AGAIN--

SNOOZE

-- then just forget it and give us something worthy of the Met. Slightly off-center, with a naturally ethnically ambiguous cocked eyebrow, Janice delivers from the 80s the sort of cover French Vogue should aim for, instead of a watered down version sans any punch.

CURATE THIS

Other, less aged magazines keep giving us great images --this month, instead try Numero Tokyo for Eva Herzigova in what AnA calls a COLLAR made of LACE. Tilt it and pout!

FRILLY AND WHAT?

Going Above 23rd Street Akimbo // Model Mannequin

Oh, excuse me while I reapply! The collagen is falling off my face!

Like every good fashion plate, AnA trekked it uptown to take in the "Model As Muse" show at the MET; we went in Ms. Streisand's BMW. Attire du jour: we picked grunge, in honor of 90s Marc Jacobs and Lady Sui. And what did we think of the show?

Overall, a good textbook round-up of fashion models popular in the European and American markets since World War II. From Dovima for Richard Avedon to Linda Evangelista for Peter Lindbergh to Naomi for Gianni, the MET covered its bases. This was accomplished through famous magazine tearsheets exhibited in front of 3-D mannequin displays outfitted to mimic the shots. Yes, Brooke Shields' infamous Calvin Klein jean advertisements were included -- the jeans themselves were strapped onto a Brooke mannequin as well! -- as well as an amusing wall of Sports Illustrated covers with our own personal muse Tyra. Kudos to Gemma Ward for landing a spot next to her fore-mothers in a stunning photograph by Irving Penn!

Our favorites included a rotating display of aluminum costumes from "Who Are You, Polly Maggoo?" and the Twiggy roundup; in terms of being a "breakthrough" model, the MET suggests she is most important to fashion history. Yet AnA questions the much-debated Azzedine Alaia absence as well as any official mention of the Brazilian Bombshells besides a few Gisele pictures . The explosion of the 90s Tokyo fashion scene goes untreated and many famous Asian models like Ai Tominaga, Irina Pantaeva and Du Juan are left unheralded. Plus the MET ignores the rise of the internet, and Style.com's practice of naming models on their website as a tool in increasing model celebrity.

Our biggest peeve? Check out the mannequin faces: completely blank and as flat as the magazine pages before them. Shouldn't the faces have been styled after the models in the exhibit? AnA suggests a display of famous faces from different eras arranged together; the 6'1" Veruschka next to the race-bending Janice Dicksinson passed out in front of the 5'7" Kate Moss. Wouldn't a dynamic array of different types of beauty, but in the flesh, been lovely.

Model as Museum: The Met Ball

The what's that of fashion came out in droves for the Costume Institute's Gala, celebrating the Metropolitan Museum's latest exhibit, Model as Muse. AnA didn't feel particularly inspired by the red carpet, but then again we were in Morocco enjoying the pleasures of beautiful underage youths in solidarity with Linda, Naomi and Christy. No one slights Alaia on our watch. Though the event couldn't compare to last year's Superheroes (hi, Anna with ram horns at her hip...too good), we certainly welcomed seeing some of the great models of yesteryear and today trotted out for public consumption. A few highlights:

Really? 85 cycles of Top Model and this is all we get from you? At least throw Badgley on top of Mischka, hit an awkward angle and give us a growl, but make it fashion.


Well she's no Michelle O, but there's only one way to go once hitting the top, huh, Jason Wu? Didn't think you'd hit rock bottom so quickly, though.

Sessilee Lopez, stunning in Zac Posen. You. Own. Everything.

And giving us Power Gay Realness, Ms. Tom Ford.

Oh, Winnie. We remember you being better than this. But then again, we remember a lot of things that never existed. Oh the 70s.

Vicki Becks, Posing 101: Hunch, extend a bony branch and just think of how much better your life is than everyone else's. Click!

That's right, put your tiny little Thai head on my giant Eastern European rib cage. Listen closely and you can hear the ocean.

Sasha giving us old Hollywood glamour and new Hollywood tranny face.

Raquel Zimmerman, who apparently fell head first into a vat of acid prior to coming to the Met, looks inconsequential betwixt heartthrobs Lazaro and Jack of Porenza Schouler. Le sigh.

Paulina Porizkova in the arms of a Car.

There are two sorts of people in this world. The Ashleys and the Mary Kates. AnA whole-heartedly supports the Mary Kates: independent, vivacious and more than likely, half in the (coke) bag.

All right, who let grandma into the medicine cabinet?

We've made no qualms about giving preferential treatment to Leighton Meester over Blake Lively here at the AnA loft. And this just confirms it since Meester looks like a refugee from Wonderland and clearly doesn't care.

-Haha! I've got the Xanax in my clutch!
-And I've got the Jack in my cleav!
-And I'm not wearing panties! Thank you for being a friend!

This gam's seen more steps than a Broadway chorus line, but even with a brace I can still make a damn entrance. Get a look at this, fellas!

And I'm backlit. Caress the gine, lift the chin, smile with the bangs, and I'm ready.

A man tux on a lady, always a classic look. Work, Lake Bell.

-This staircase is tripping me the fuck out.
-I told you not to drop those tabs before we came.
-Look, Marc, I'm glad you're all clean, good for you, good luck with that and whatever, but I don't need you raining on my parade. Now grab my ass and keep your Chelsea beard shut.

Alleged heterosexual Kanye West loves his custom LV tux almost as much as he loves himself. Almost.

Iman is the greatest person ever according to Guiness. And by Guiness we clearly mean that drunk drag queen who tried to rob us last weekend. We had to cut a bitch.

-Psst. Meet me in the bathroom in thirty minutes?
-Which one of us, Diane?
-...darling. Both. And bring Tony's butt plug, I forgot mine in the limo.

Former model, former actress and former Hugh Grant beard, Liz Hurley, had one of the loveliest looks of the night in red carpet regular, Elie Saab.

That's it, Ed, look completely disinterested. It only turns us on more.

-Haha! I don't know where I am!
-Haha! Me neither! Let's go heckle Donna Karen!

La Mole still has it. And girl can pull off turquoise, unlike...

Brooke. You're one tuck away from Drag Race Season 2.

Nice lifts, Bono.

Dear Justin Timberlake. Stop trying so hard. Love, AnA. Oh, and leash your dog.

60s, Bardot, glam. Are those cheekbones new, Ms. Hathaway? Either way, loving.

And perfection takes the form of Alek Wek clad in fuchsia.

Aggy dear, flawless. We're loving the bombshell hair and who's that little man? Oh, Twiggy. Well, that's just unfortunate...though you two make a lovely couple.

And finally, to leave this post on a high note. AnA's patron saint/illegitimate father and all-around muckety muck, ALT in signature great cape. What you don't see are the three rentboys sucking him off underneath it all. The cape, much like everything in fashion, has its purpose.