Monday, March 2, 2009
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Armed and Akimbo, Ltd. - A Subsidiary of Bossy Bottoms, Inc. - A House of Chanel - Part of the LVMH Group - A HARPO Production.
All the (armed and akimbo) Single Ladies...
Dolly
From the wreckage of Lady Parton's forgotten hairsprayed wigs rose the petit and honey blond Dolly, anatomically male but emotionally an enlightened gay fashionista. A product of overzealous heteronormative familial units, Dolly flighted from rural America in a denim DKNY jacket (currently on view at the Met), moved to the West Village, and now canters daily to the AnA loft in ornate heels and Balmain. In between snacks of tap water and the occasional stick of gum, this yoga devotee (because Christy said so) ponders fashion history, personal styles of the rich and fabulous, trends in fashion editorials, and of course whatever shiny things catch her eye.
Ms. Ross
Whilst sabotaging the careers of any pretenders to her throne of super-cunty divadom, Ms. Ross managed to pick up an American Vogue (this was ages before it's disappointing homogenization, natch) and was inspired by the colorful and intoxicating images therein. Before you can say "I'm Coming Out," Ms. Ross secured an internship in the hallowed, cashmere walls of the mag and her career in fashion began in earnest. Now a self-styled fashionista, Ms. Ross can be found stomping down the runways of Paris and Milan, throwing tantrums for the hell of it and vomiting up lunch in the trendiest of restaurant bathrooms.
Ms. Streisand
A young Jewish ingenue from deep, deep, deep Brooklyn, Ms. Streisand boarded a blue tugboat clad only in an orange dress, fur hat with matching muff and booked it straight for Manhattan, where she lived the first six months fresh and free at Isaac Mizrahi's Garment District studio. Finding work as a fit, showroom, and presentation model beneath her, this lady of naught but seventeen years traded in her four-inch stilettos for the bright lights of Broadway and the broad shoulders of at least three wealthy financiers, all of whom have disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Despite protests from fans, Ms. Streisand is currently pondering moving to New Jersey to participate in the Real Housewives series.
From the wreckage of Lady Parton's forgotten hairsprayed wigs rose the petit and honey blond Dolly, anatomically male but emotionally an enlightened gay fashionista. A product of overzealous heteronormative familial units, Dolly flighted from rural America in a denim DKNY jacket (currently on view at the Met), moved to the West Village, and now canters daily to the AnA loft in ornate heels and Balmain. In between snacks of tap water and the occasional stick of gum, this yoga devotee (because Christy said so) ponders fashion history, personal styles of the rich and fabulous, trends in fashion editorials, and of course whatever shiny things catch her eye.
Ms. Ross
Whilst sabotaging the careers of any pretenders to her throne of super-cunty divadom, Ms. Ross managed to pick up an American Vogue (this was ages before it's disappointing homogenization, natch) and was inspired by the colorful and intoxicating images therein. Before you can say "I'm Coming Out," Ms. Ross secured an internship in the hallowed, cashmere walls of the mag and her career in fashion began in earnest. Now a self-styled fashionista, Ms. Ross can be found stomping down the runways of Paris and Milan, throwing tantrums for the hell of it and vomiting up lunch in the trendiest of restaurant bathrooms.
Ms. Streisand
A young Jewish ingenue from deep, deep, deep Brooklyn, Ms. Streisand boarded a blue tugboat clad only in an orange dress, fur hat with matching muff and booked it straight for Manhattan, where she lived the first six months fresh and free at Isaac Mizrahi's Garment District studio. Finding work as a fit, showroom, and presentation model beneath her, this lady of naught but seventeen years traded in her four-inch stilettos for the bright lights of Broadway and the broad shoulders of at least three wealthy financiers, all of whom have disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Despite protests from fans, Ms. Streisand is currently pondering moving to New Jersey to participate in the Real Housewives series.
AKIMBO MAIL!
Have a hunch to reccommend? A Tyra/Latifah sighting? Send it to the AnA loft!
akimbo (dot) arms (at) gmail.com
akimbo (dot) arms (at) gmail.com
ARCHIVED ISSUES
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2009
(536)
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March
(105)
- Inspiration Akimbo / Tie Dye For
- 1OAK Akimbo // Near Miss!
- Hunch Of The Day // Dire Vampire
- MOVE // Lauren Hutton!
- "Fresh" Faces
- Finally!
- Mouthed and Agape / Double En-tongue-dre
- Boyfriend of the Day
- Oh shalom...
- Spike Akimbo // Where The Wild Things Are!
- Fétiche Akimbo // That's Fetish In Franche
- Hunch Of The Day // Red Room Wrangle
- Hunch Of The Day // Breast Blooper
- Leggings Akimbo // A Rainbow
- If You Have Nothing Better To Do And Live In Willi...
- Hunch Of The Day // In Triplicate Tan
- Bitch Attitudes Akimbo
- Birthday Akimbo: Ms. Ross
- In The News // MTA Akimbo
- Drag Race Akimbo: And the Winner Is...
- Other Blogs Akimbo
- CM Akimbo
- Biopic Akimbo // Judy!
- Hunch Of The Day // Rhoda Romp
- A Portrait in Two Vogues
- Mission Accomplished Akimbo // Snooze
- Lick It Up
- French Vogue Akimbo // Accessories For Spring
- Hunch Of The Day // Beau Bicep
- Trim Akimbo // Dolly Do
- Just 'Cause Akimbo // Beard
- H&M Akimbo // Matthew Williamson
- Dandy Decisions Akimbo!
- In The News Akimbo // Liya Crew
- Hunch Of The Day // Gun Fun
- Mouthed and Agape / Teenage Gapeland
- Preview Akimbo // Grey Gardens!
- 40s Akimbo // Elie Saab
- Discuss Akimbo // Leopard
- Hunch Of The Day // Hairband Band
- Pinups Akimbo // How We Love Numéro Homme Japan
- Greekasia Akimbo // 'Dresses of Time'
- Slumdog Akimbo // Jai Ho!
- Valentino Akimbo // The Last Emperor Opens
- Hunch Of The Day // Balloonin' Und Swoonin'
- Boyfriend of the Day
- Mouthed and Agape / A Blonder Ponder
- Manning Up Akimbo // Athletics
- Bow Me! Akimbo
- When Models Attack, Part Deux
- Fashion Montage Time!
- In-The-News Akimbo // Jil Sander for Uniqlo
- i-D Akimbo // Give Me Bend
- Hunch Of The Day // Semi-Urban Turban
- Wintour Akimbo // Revamping
- Slum Dyke Thousandaire
- Hunch Of The Day // Big Ass Gas
- Vogue+ Real Women = Beyonce...?
- Golly, Girl
- Oh hi...
- We Always Wondered Why There Were No Short Models...
- Hallowed Be Thy Clavicle / Doesn't Matter if You'r...
- Random Akimbo
- Hunch Of The Day // Exhibit Examine
- Mouthed and Agape // McQueen Maw
- Oh hi...Year of the Big Girl
- Fjällräven Akimbo // Now At Opening Ceremony
- MOVE // Steppin'
- Hunch Of The Day // Bang Hang
- Heterogeneity Akimbo // 'Better History' Show
- Cinematically Cinched...at the Waist
- Supermodels Akimbo // Tatjana Patitz
- Art Akimbo // Richard Philips at Gagosian Gallery
- Oh hi...
- GQ - Gentleman's Queer-terly
- Swing Coats Akimbo // Giambattista Valli
- Hunch Of The Day // Dyke Digits
- Oops-There-Goes-My-Kids-All-Over-Your-Face Akimbo ...
- Mouthed and Agape / G is for Gap
- Hunch Of The Day // Suitcase Face
- More Where That Came From Akimbo // Denim Hangers
- Hunch Of The Day // Chaise Schlump
- Official Shoes For Fall Akimbo // Olivier Theysken...
- Mouthed and Agape / Auto-Fellatio
- Boyfriend of the Day
- Hunch Of The Day // Relaxed Rock
- Cinematically Cinched...at the Waist
- First Look Akimbo // Balenciaga
- Times Akimbo // Silver Fox
- Elle Akimbo // Desert Living
- Zebra Akimbo // Shalom + Eva for H&M
- Oops-There-Goes-My-Kids-All-Over-Your-Face Akimbo ...
- Hunch Of The Day // Lawn Lob
- Downtown Akimbo // Tequila?
- Just-'Cause Akimbo // Dakota Fanning in Push
- Gay Akimbo // The Skinny
- Hunch Of The Day // Clavicle Clamp
- She Ain't No Diva!
- Hallowed Be Thy Tear-ducts / Sobbing for Sander
- Mouthed and Agape / Slit-ty
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▼
March
(105)
TOMAS MAIER FOR BOTTEGA VENETA
Miuccia Prada
Karl Lagerfeld
Linda Evangelista
ology.com
DOVIMA
1 comment:
whoa. Seriously slit-ty,and why I was never a supermodel.
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