![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIC8IXddIm8hGJP3bKaXvCo6QxbLu36Tb0uHZABdCcGtO6Lp9sqLZLWuJy8QCATvPF8Nj2_0agCgTOKJmzss_-qVD52ywGpekjOJ53qZpi___ks24LhCgrT5HXjA86ZSGsHtXgrivN8HIa/s400/telephone2.jpg)
Cooter -- thanks, but no thanks. She might not have a dick NOW, but sex reassignment surgery has come a long way. I'm just sayin'...
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBpz_enR1e8cvs_4OeyiVhWXKeKxhsJhK3Ae6oIAQ4sQOSE0FNFUE1i_bE6qUmAfYDkzZCQkKyRiElN9C5yqCzlNUGUAWMweNjg2c1kLiV4AXGIdiK5MuFetasazQxI_xA2uaxCEgpBoSV/s400/telephone3.jpg)
Yes, that is smoke. Yes, this is also where I began to have heart palpitations from all the fierceness.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTzBlPHhYoz4mwdjQUsIb9P-Z44D8TegylC6B7vJf8Rw245d4VCN0Hr-Q4oyAa4T8P32HnhOVWM2Fmnc1sWL4LYaqv2gxB9jZqKE0RwYDnEAw4Zi1lTJYg82ICb2S9fAJrNbTpYDob8OWI/s400/telephone4.jpg)
This big black bitch might be my favorite moment, well...ever. Here she is owning the world in an all too brief moment.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuP4babdCCw7nN64gVIg7lHQ838WK8UT69W4Gmc3x2vrqAdwolKwaZABEvL6FSx3MNgDc8rr5Gb0KAuIF-Ne0G50wev3rjTHTghxmXbI0OqQqe7tUVY-ZM2BWO5sAMezux5RWvQKjr1Mqg/s400/telephone6.jpg)
B makes her first appearance, breaking Gags out of jail. You know what they say, once you kill a cow...you gotta eat some fish.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpXGS9_3_0NT6Y6YNwJfQ86FrRmvtd0QD3OwZF-YSjHJfMmM4e9BMZwT77lnpPeSPg7To6kx18IfqcsH8KMJxZyn-fAdyiW7VgPiwY9j3gwKdota7xj8jlEoBoMDhiiXRAYtiv0AYLPyhK/s400/telephone9.jpg)
Beyonce couldn't give less of a shit, because she's going full on dyke and Mr. Carter-Knowles be damned.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE6Owz3QurAz5PD5nX-wkpv9AMfBzuno6EW9AtAg6QWZO5Y_T9xeY8W7sIOAnjmzAqD4RRnP8qTZIWeSqiN7hYU6BDkmb-GCOdpBaSOJC4mJWBPEk1K4fypVYl3H9ArAmkQRmVIs0xck-b/s400/telephone10.jpg)
Call her mellow yellow. B goes to meet Tyrese, who is apparently still alive...? Though not for long...
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmdHfhmLDMjoi4T6ZDesjRXtrpREezC8aE4H2mw5qE-Rhqz3nxn0iTIefJJwtlb1whxHQDCe9ND-6hnJoCjXXZZbmPIvCpeeQbqKenZ3TW8hS4HE6p6crgmrepVUpPgM9e_0DAYJ3MKIU5/s400/telephone12.jpg)
"Sometimes I feel like I live in Grand Central Stay-SHUN. " That's it. ACT! Throw an Oscar in this face.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMlR-Da_7RoqfmUni9oEi-YNVyc_yfZEYRcfRMaTDcVbcCnFXU0vSvtaHnM0NmSf1QoUm-bzy7FiOMw957T1rUA91pIQ67R1BTEyKfTxUL_BZuaHYTJMOZLK38ViAO2A1b8NZJy-MNrvDW/s400/telephone13.jpg)
A pussy sandwich? Meanwhile, I love the queens turning it in the kitchen while the Lady poses in what has to be the must-have accessory of 2010. Call all you want, but you're not gonna get my telephone hat.
I know this is Gaga's song and video, but B blatantly steals the show. That face. That wig. That jacket. Those thighs. I think we've just been introduced to Gaga Fierce.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK0lE99PK_ucsES-N3RHmZGZRcdwoqgRUC178bVO4cVpaXF_asoydFOuqOeWuFPlKbEPtMi0-DwJNFkT1LbbggvngWyfhdgI4LfAqTQNxhQFvd2HQ9yLj1xUstg3PLNHF3tM2FKsJcwc0C/s400/telephone17.jpg)
By the way, this recipe is my diet for the next 5 months as I prepare to enter a speedo, as being dead will be the only way it'll happen.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZhyphenhyphenYmXTLW4qX1FMDPGLXdUATFexZUGhnuRSUb7JTLfHPC_VoDztaJ0VV2GQ1x3ik8h6ZUGMAKEPTV2HLL5NwTSPIVl6DXcVe-Mu3P0e6sMRyZXbeKMJjoX-4ME0xtXK9XMggTYg0gchg8/s400/telephone18.jpg)
Hot cakes and hamhocks, anyone? Hold that thought, I've got an incoming call. No, I don't want to switch my long distance carrier. This isn't even a real phone. Yes, I'll hold.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNFY1GJM4rlWrkbxE42WJ2AmXwvkcIPE1pVDVMMjzeU3yX4jzCqlMWwGKdg-2Erx3Js8ncUWuutjcQ_WI6N8yFvWlzoQgpFgvKvNbsEY4SLAZqMOauUaQ4vRbkpsQ45DU6MXrPrOYUa1Gx/s400/telephone19.jpg)
Oh you know, I'm just standing here, posing, nonchalant as usual, with this phone in my hair. Just a regular day in the Haus of Gaga.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfr8XqrVCljKIatIQlbfdYX7g8p7h7HWIYgIxDjVmsLqdVUczKlsunZ9kQuMl8_nLqvgJyfhJ5jZ0kjvUMLBy1n07uKe2X36j1-N3grBUlwfMj4ryQwaQTJj_MasLRCS4eXdfO0p-3e5Rq/s400/telephone20.jpg)
After stealing her honey, that selfish motherfucker Tyrese got what was coming to him. He'll soon be back to singing for sodas on the bus.
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