Heterosexual Coupling Never Looked So Good

Chameleon/nouveau supermodel/Philly bitch, Sessilee Lopez and the latest target of my stalker's night vision binoculars, Wendell Lissimore, burn up this editorial from The Contributing Editor.

First Grace Jones, now Iman. I want this girl channeling every black female (and the occasional male) model of the past 50 years. And after those five minutes are over, I want her jumping in American Vogue.

I love the tongue on the left, so why play hard to get on the right? Starts ta poppin' those balloons, girl!

Throw this on the cover of i-D and call it a day.

Cockblock much?

I'm secretly a big fan of preppy clothing and this has inspired me to come out of that particular closet. Every other one having had its door broken off the hinges ages ago.

I kinda hope they're spitting into each other's mouths. Hot. Just me?

Funk. Yes. I want an entire family of kids who look exactly like this. That would solve every problem that exists in the world today. You're welcome...now give me my damn Nobel Prize.

The matching outfits continue but I'm certainly not sick of it. If real couples dressed like this, I might not want to pelt them with the relentless stones of my bitterness. I also want that khaki jumpsuit. Preferably the one on Sessilee so I can show off these pins.

Summer!

Out of My Face Akimbo // Wilting Whities

How did model diversity fare on the New York runways this season? About as well as an Ugg after a slushy snowfall: not at all, and ugly.

The Calvin Klein show dazzled us AnA girls -- we sat front row, two seats from that pre-teen blogging whore and sadly out of clawing range-- with tons of black and muted tones on cool shoulders but no Lyndsey Scott, the New Jersey native who stomped out this Spring as the first black Calvin exclusive. With Shena Moulton in the lineup and 90s supermodels Stella Tenant, Kristen McMenamy and Kristy Hume as muse, we forgive Francisco for his lack of diversity!

Miss Moulton went ponytail-t0-ponytail with 90s supes!

The Row designers dazzled the 176 super-VIP invitees -- Ms. Streisand gave a pity wave to Tila Tequila, shunned outside the venue before she was stoned to death by Grace Coddington -- with an epically minimalistic collection in mostly black that was pieced together by an army of tiny goblin hands.

The clothes were about the only thing black in that room, besides of course the olives floating in Ms. Ross's early morning martini. Pump up the casting! If we see one more wide Eastern European face sneering down a runway, we'll smash Magdalena's.

Kudos to DVF for picking all mannequin types for her cute, flouncy, expectedly wearable presentation. The casting included:

...boring white girls...

...black girls (hey girl hey!)...

...asians...

...blasians...

...blatinasians...

...dots...

...supermodels...

...new girls (who dat?)...

...too many Canadians...

...VS Angels...

...bones...

...fatties...

...perfection caught in a ground-tilted stare...

...and of course Ms. Ross herself, in her singular runway appearance. She knocked Naomi right off the catwalk! Work! Maybe they'll let more ethnics in at Lincoln Center!

Veronica Liquid Lake Akimbo // Christian Siriano

AnA dusted off last season's Christian Siriano for Payless boots and trekked through Wednesday's snow for Christian's lovely collection of power suiting, tubular pants, tons of futuristic sparkly black accessories (glitter aviator-ish sunglasses, kids), and a hot fuchsia gown on our latest obsession Sessilee Lopez. We caught her taking Blackberry pics during rehearsal -- very Italian Vogue of you girl!

We're very 40s glamour right now - Ms. Ross attended wearing a dramatic feather headpiece, made by Sam Bennett. What also made us gag:

Our one gripe: we sat behind someone named Mena Suvari (sp?) who stars apparently in a new movie called 'American Beauty.' Anyone? We loved catching up with Kristen Johnson, Leigh Lezark (lay off those vitamins girl, you're looking fleshy!), Veronica Webb, who taught us the mid-catwalk turn in 1997, and Amber Rose, who as Ms. Streisand said: she's an alien but gorgeous.

Major Moment

Haute couture hanger and Victoria Secret Angel, SessLo giving major face.

Feeling Peckish...

I stepped out for a little snack.

Anniversary Akimbo // Black Biotch!

Remember the 'Black Issue' of Italian Vogue?

It sent the fashion world aflutter and AnA will never forget the epic snarling and hopping of the ferocious Sessilee Lopez and Mr. Meisel's commentary on race. Well, the issue broke out one year ago. In honor of that issue, which continues to sell well at magazine stores, take a look at the editor's hilarious July 2009 supplement: a hilarious homage to Black Barbie! AnA celebrates this landmark with our favorite story: Champagne Furs, starring Toccara's enormously gorgeous breasts!

Lady Lopez Akimbo

Our Lady of Italian Vogue takes an etherial spin through the magazine again this month with a lot of hunches, wigs, and ladylike cocktail dresses. And by ladylike we mean the Akimbo way, which is when a body conscious frock is paired with a dangerous looking pair of towering talons! Hoof it in these heels!