"Something That Would Pop on TV"

AnA's patron saint, and once the paternity test comes back, birth mother, Madame André Leon Talley will grace the airwaves in 13 subtle Chado Ralph Rucci cloaks. "Something that would pop on TV", as opposed to his everyday wear.

The occasion is suitably epic as he has deigned to appear on America's Next Top Model, or as we like to call it here at the AnA loft, Yelling Nonsensical Things at Skinny Girls and/or Smiling with Your Eyes with Ty Ty Banks.

The show, it seems, has finally stepped up its game and so has Mr. Banks. As she told WWD, “I am wearing a chignon every single day. I went back to Yves Saint Laurent 1991, honey. I said, ‘This is André Leon Talley! No earrings, no nothing. Just me and the gahhment.’”

Well at least she recognizes the serious coup she's pulled off. I can't say I'll miss those unflattering weaves and wigs, especially since Wendy Williams is still on the air.

As for the winner of this show actually living up to the show's lofty title and appearing in Vogue, (besides in an Olay ad, natch) well, Talley puts it this way: [T]hat’s not my decision, that’s Ms. Wintour’s."

In other words , Hell to the No.

Going Above 23rd Street Akimbo // Model Mannequin

Oh, excuse me while I reapply! The collagen is falling off my face!

Like every good fashion plate, AnA trekked it uptown to take in the "Model As Muse" show at the MET; we went in Ms. Streisand's BMW. Attire du jour: we picked grunge, in honor of 90s Marc Jacobs and Lady Sui. And what did we think of the show?

Overall, a good textbook round-up of fashion models popular in the European and American markets since World War II. From Dovima for Richard Avedon to Linda Evangelista for Peter Lindbergh to Naomi for Gianni, the MET covered its bases. This was accomplished through famous magazine tearsheets exhibited in front of 3-D mannequin displays outfitted to mimic the shots. Yes, Brooke Shields' infamous Calvin Klein jean advertisements were included -- the jeans themselves were strapped onto a Brooke mannequin as well! -- as well as an amusing wall of Sports Illustrated covers with our own personal muse Tyra. Kudos to Gemma Ward for landing a spot next to her fore-mothers in a stunning photograph by Irving Penn!

Our favorites included a rotating display of aluminum costumes from "Who Are You, Polly Maggoo?" and the Twiggy roundup; in terms of being a "breakthrough" model, the MET suggests she is most important to fashion history. Yet AnA questions the much-debated Azzedine Alaia absence as well as any official mention of the Brazilian Bombshells besides a few Gisele pictures . The explosion of the 90s Tokyo fashion scene goes untreated and many famous Asian models like Ai Tominaga, Irina Pantaeva and Du Juan are left unheralded. Plus the MET ignores the rise of the internet, and Style.com's practice of naming models on their website as a tool in increasing model celebrity.

Our biggest peeve? Check out the mannequin faces: completely blank and as flat as the magazine pages before them. Shouldn't the faces have been styled after the models in the exhibit? AnA suggests a display of famous faces from different eras arranged together; the 6'1" Veruschka next to the race-bending Janice Dicksinson passed out in front of the 5'7" Kate Moss. Wouldn't a dynamic array of different types of beauty, but in the flesh, been lovely.

Hair in Face Akimbo

Sorry to be MIA today; with bated breathe AnA attended Tyra Banks' testimony at her stalker's trial. The fool followed Ty-Ty baby around New York! Here's our girl hustling out of the courthouse in a belted sundress. Stunning:

Nothing like a real star in giant glasses leaving a courthouse; it never gets tired!

Queen Latifah Approves Akimbo

Our favorite high-fashion drag queens swagger in the latest Russian Vogue, vamping with pursed lips backstage at the Victorias Secret show in the tradition of former VS girl Tyrone. No words necessary; just enjoy.

Grace // Italian Vogue July 08

Oh hello world. How are you? Almost crapped yourself opening Italian Vogue this month? Don’t worry. You’re not the only one.

You see, before I became a famous TV host, producer, singer, actress, inspiration, deity, etc., I was an edgy fashion model who roamed the runways and couture catwalks and posed and hunched and arched my way through almost every edition of Vogue. Now I’m back smiling with my eyes all thanks to my friend Steven. Oh Steven, I feel like that little girl fresh out of Inglewood all over again! If only it was 15 years and 45 pounds ago then maybe I could be gracing these and other pages like Chanel Iman (pass on the whole Korean thing, being mixed Asian is SO Naomi Campbell what?).

Look at me. The graceful tilt of the head, slightly unexpected on that long stem of a neck. The soft honey heaven cloud lips pursed like so. The slight slouch of the shoulders. A turban. Charcoal eyes and my gentle, almost invisible brow. Cheekbones.

Now look again and learn. That’s a pose.

XX,
Tyra