You Can't Teach an Old Bitch New Tricks

Naomi is at it again. Thank God.
The super has allegedly attacked the driver of her Russian billionaire boyfriend, after he refused to tell her if the Commie was cheating on her.
Meanwhile, I'm sitting at work crying over my bank account.
When the authorities came to the scene, Naomi had already sprinted off in her stilettos.
The cops are now on the search for her and one can only guess she's already fled the country and is hiding out at Papa Azzedine's til this ugly mess blows over.
All I can say is, at least someone still knows how to be a supermodel. Long live the Queen!

Checkin' In Akimbo

Hi Michelle! Hope you liked the Mother's Day basket we sent you. But who doesn't love chocolate rum balls? Anyway, you've been looking AMAZING lately! Here you are traipsing across your lawn in silver flats and a yellow floral cardigan by Liz Claiborne. Loving the baby daddy.

You looked superb at that MET ribbon cutting the other day in that whimsical purple get-up by AnA's newest resurrected godfather Isaac Mizrahi.

That corset! That impossibly appropriate hair! You cinched your Michael Kors with a laced-up Peter Soronen. Immaculately sleek, so well done.

Our favorite First Lady Look? The Azzedine you broke out to give a speech/steal the Kennedy thunder. It's a modernized black, you carry so well a modified Puritan collar, and AnA wouldn't be surprised if you whipped out a laser gun!

And check out those guns! Squeeze the spotlight out of her!

Going Above 23rd Street Akimbo // Model Mannequin

Oh, excuse me while I reapply! The collagen is falling off my face!

Like every good fashion plate, AnA trekked it uptown to take in the "Model As Muse" show at the MET; we went in Ms. Streisand's BMW. Attire du jour: we picked grunge, in honor of 90s Marc Jacobs and Lady Sui. And what did we think of the show?

Overall, a good textbook round-up of fashion models popular in the European and American markets since World War II. From Dovima for Richard Avedon to Linda Evangelista for Peter Lindbergh to Naomi for Gianni, the MET covered its bases. This was accomplished through famous magazine tearsheets exhibited in front of 3-D mannequin displays outfitted to mimic the shots. Yes, Brooke Shields' infamous Calvin Klein jean advertisements were included -- the jeans themselves were strapped onto a Brooke mannequin as well! -- as well as an amusing wall of Sports Illustrated covers with our own personal muse Tyra. Kudos to Gemma Ward for landing a spot next to her fore-mothers in a stunning photograph by Irving Penn!

Our favorites included a rotating display of aluminum costumes from "Who Are You, Polly Maggoo?" and the Twiggy roundup; in terms of being a "breakthrough" model, the MET suggests she is most important to fashion history. Yet AnA questions the much-debated Azzedine Alaia absence as well as any official mention of the Brazilian Bombshells besides a few Gisele pictures . The explosion of the 90s Tokyo fashion scene goes untreated and many famous Asian models like Ai Tominaga, Irina Pantaeva and Du Juan are left unheralded. Plus the MET ignores the rise of the internet, and Style.com's practice of naming models on their website as a tool in increasing model celebrity.

Our biggest peeve? Check out the mannequin faces: completely blank and as flat as the magazine pages before them. Shouldn't the faces have been styled after the models in the exhibit? AnA suggests a display of famous faces from different eras arranged together; the 6'1" Veruschka next to the race-bending Janice Dicksinson passed out in front of the 5'7" Kate Moss. Wouldn't a dynamic array of different types of beauty, but in the flesh, been lovely.

Oh Hi // Met Akimbo

Oh hi. Check your humility and trains at the zebra-print door. Welcome to my Ball.

Or did I mean "Tear Drop," in honor of my print on my Chanel Couture gown. Cinched at my waist, a 23-inch natural wonder that gives me control of one of the largest museums in the world and those who enter my exhibit. So what if I do not invite Azzedine Alaia, one of the greatest living designers, despite his decades long devotion to models, and thereby uninvite his supermodel muses? It is my bidding. So what if I demand that models must wear knee-length dresses? Those who challenge me by going floor length will perish.

AnA is compiling an extensive recap of the Gala festivities. We're a little fatigued from attending last night's Rodarte dance party co-hosted by one Jess Stam in SoHo; luckily the pre-dawn walk to the AnA loft with one Paulina Porizkova pepped us up! More to come!

Obama Tour Akimbo

You've been following Michelle Obama trail blaze through Europe, right? Amid the landmark first meetings with heads of state and NATO briefings, Michelle has donned an astounding array of feminine shapes. Paris: upstaging Carla Bruni in her quick-change of dueling Thakoon numbers. First, a lovely dress with black-accented 3/4 length sleeves and then a black coat adorned with pinkish flowers. Michelle popped more than First Lady Bruni, who looked surprisingly drab.

Hamming it up via the Brits; a stunning Isabel Toledo combo that she accessorized with a well chosen necklace.

Prague. A good way to warm up a Czech winter: a giant white bow.

Then la pièce de la résistance: a GORGEOUS black Azzedine Alaïa that, after a big reveal from under a black satin opera coat by Jason Wu, set German jaws dropping across the Rhineland. Elegant and classy, Michelle looks fresh and refreshingly young.

A supporter of American fashion, First Lady Obama has turned heads and raised some well-groomed eyebrows for donning Alaïa and other labels like Etro during her European tour. Bravo from the AnA camp for getting into the European groove!