Monday, November 10, 2008

Oh hi...

Chocolate brown blouse, matronly, yes, but with this rack, who needs to flaunt? It's a good thing. And so is this stash of bourbon I'm holding between the cheeks of my still rather firm, thank you, bum; little trick I learned from my dear friend, Bruno, a stunning black lesbian with a surprisingly soft touch that brings to mind warm Egyptian cotton or fresh cut baby's breath. How did I even get invited to this? I don't even know what a 'Juicy Couture' is, though I must admit it sounds delicious. I thought this pointy-toed heel would be appropriate, that is what the kids are wearing, right? Like I care, dammit, I'm richer than God, and almost as rich as Oprah. I was so damn close, too. Oooh, is that Penn Badgley? I'm going to teach him the art of stuffing a turkey, using my vagina as a test subject. Pardon me, will you?

who dat