Oh hi...

I didn't see you standing there. Come with me, won't you, through a typical day in the life of a superstar, and more importantly, a...a...LINE! Mother! That's right -- and more importantly the life of a mother.

What the hell is this, are you serious? You expect me to carbs? And on camera no less. I haven't eaten anything solid since "Borderline". Lola, put down that meatball, you know the rules! Ten laps around the mansion. Next set-up!

Domenico, Stefano, really, I love you, I live for you. But this is a $500 manicure. Meanwhile, I wish you had waited for the swelling in my face to go down a bit. I've got more collagen in me than a harem of seals. Rocco, get away from that door! Your father's dead and he's not coming back! Moving along!

What's happening, what is with these bubbly things rising up at me? Hey, can someone watch the little one, whatever his name is. Hey, Luz, where do you think you're going? What do you mean we have nothing in common? Parts of me are younger than most of my children!

All right, that's it, cut! No one dumps Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone Penn Ritchie...oh wait.