Friday, May 22, 2009

Oh hi...

Now pay attention, I'm only showing you this once. It's all in the movement of the hips, which should be nonexistent if you hope to work anywhere near this industry. Note my nonchalance, the ease with which I glide across the ground. You can't tell from where you're sitting, but I'm actually hovering 3 cm off of the ground. All editors-in-chief possess this power, except that awful Joanna Coles from Marie Claire. I mean, really, they'll let anyone in these days. But if you want to ascend to the highest of heights, children, you must first master the art of a graceful saunter. My swag is incomparable. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to wrangle some boring starlet for our next mediocre cover.

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